Year 2 Semester 1 is drawing to a near pretty soon. 4 more weeks of school & that's it. 2 months of semester break.

Now been busy with projects. & I've screwed all the deadlines. Nice.

The projects are all interesting. But why can't I put my heart & soul into all of it? My ideas are not shown in the works. Gosh. Need to get a grip of myself, seriously.

I really need better grades this time.

I'm feeling extremely stressful right now. This is the result of last minute work attitude of mine.

Left with 2 camfx projects. Yet to be completed. Struggling to finish them by tonight.

Photostory assignment is making me worried big time. One plan after another backfired. And, today's plans are delayed to the max. So frustrated. Not sure if I can pull everything off in the end. But luckily, I have supportive friends. Just need the camera & I'll be fine. But, oh wells.

Sleepless night again. Hope I will not fall asleep in class tomorrow, & at work as well.

P.S. talked to one of the colleagues in the cab home from work last Friday. What he said kept me thinking. Well, 'bout his time management & work ethics towards studies that is. I really admire his attitude. I wanna be like him. But can I?

The school break is slowly coming to its end. Yet, projects & assignments have not been done completely.

I'm left with 3 - CAMFX's photostory & game opening storyboard, and, HARD MOD's petrol station design.

I keep on changing my ideas for the photostory assignment. This explains my extreme fickle - mindedness. I hope this time, my project will turn out to be wayyyyyy better than the previous ones. Well, if only I could find another guy to be my model. Going to complete this on Sunday. Hope that the weather would be nicer.

I already have ideas for the game opening assignment. Just find it hard to disseminate the ideas from thoughts into writing on paper. Not sure if my ideas would be feasible too. What a bummer!

Went to school yesterday with Jiao Mao to complete our petrol station + deserted road design. I guess she's almost completed hers (3/4 done I supposed), while mine, halfway done. But seriously, I'm proud to say that my designing skills are getting better. Well, able to concentrate for many hours without fidgeting to complete the design. Hope everything will turn out well for this assignment. I need the grades man.

P.S. working later. Not sure if I would be dragging my feet to work. 'Cause so caught up with my assignments that I dread the idea of needed to work. Oh wells.

Halfway done with hardware modeling project. Either design a petrol station or a deserted road. Well, designing a deserted road will be damn easy for me. But, I decide to design a petrol station instead. I'm taking this as a challenge for myself. 'Cause I know I suck big time at computer - related stuff.

So, I did a design for it. The basic shapes are done. But, I'm afraid that it will be disproportional. Decide to stop designing it till next week. 'Cause I have no idea how to design the petrol nozzle thingy & the cables dangling out & all.

I somehow picture how the petrol station gonna be like in my head already. Hope it will turn out great. Not gonna post my design here. 'Cause I do not think it it up to standard yet.

So now, I'm gonna progress with the other assignments & projects left in my agenda.

K bye.

P.S. my one insecurity is getting the best of me.

I'm breaking down again. This time it is 'cause of family problems. What's new, heh? There is something new actually. This time, I have no more tears to waste though I'm depressingly pondering over everything that's going on in the house. Great. Something that I really deserve when I'm on work break. Looking forward to work again, in three weeks' time, that is.

I absolutely hate the comparison game. Okay, maybe I enjoy it once or twice. But, if it keeps on progresses, I feel guilty about the whole thing. Especially when it is comparing you & your own blood.

Okay. Why the heck do I feel guilty when Dad compares me & him all the time? I hate him (not Dad obviously). Really, really hate him. Perhaps, I just do not want any more drama going on further in the house. I rather mind my own business, than being caught up in mindless, endless strings of bickerings.

Then again, I hate it when Dad compares us, in terms of our academic excellence, attitudes & how well we manage our money. Of course, I receive the compliments. Which somehow, I feel proud to be praised, but at the same time, how I just wished Dad would stop this game anymore.