Mum's back from the hospital last thursday..
Yay!!!!..
Watch what you eat Mum..
Love you..
Friday 20th March 2009..
Job hunt..
Applied for two jobs..
Okay..
I hope I dont get it..
But somehow I need a job..
But then..
The location of the workplaces so effing far lah..
Haiz..
Let's hope I get it lah..
Contradictions..
& I dont know how to juggle job, school, CCA & personal problems..
All at once..
I tink I'll suffer..
I tink I should just die now lah..
Better..
After that went to Marina & sat at Burger King..
While waiting for Kai..
Then both of us & Ansar headed to the National Museum..
Went to the Christian Lacroix Costumier..
Like seriously..
Fashion is so not my cup of tea..
I love the arts scene certainly..
Design is definitely what I wanna pursue in the future..
But me not liking fashion????..
Contradiction..
I've to dress up & stuff 2 look presentable 'cause of my course..
But..
What the hell right????..
I just browsed around while Ansar took his time to look around & observe everything..
I'm only interested in the history of the designer..
History is damn interesting..
But I prefer knowing stuff bout the two world wars & stuff..
That is definitely more interesting than the exhibition..
No offence..
'Cause yeah fashion is not my kind of thing to be interested bout..
I'm sure I can worked at the exhibition as the tour guide or smtg..
Was educating Kai & Ansar bout the play, Othello..
Haha..lol..
Wow..
I'm totally impressed with myself..
Still remember bout the play despite reading the text only once..
Haha..
Funny..
Failed Literature so badly..
Single digit only..
Most of the time I just handed in blank pieces of paper for the 3 sections..
Lol..
But well I'm glad that I put my knowledge to good use at that time..
After that we went to the interior design exhibition..
I prefer this exhibition than the former..
Though kinda disappointing 'cause I want c more..
& the displays sort of average..
Not to say that I can absolutely do better designs than those..
But I always expect more outstandings presentations..
Well that's me..
Duh..
Interior design is cool..
Always wanted to have my own themed room..
Wait till I have my own house..
That would be fun..
Designing & decorating the whole thing to my own likings..
Travelled back & forth from Marina to town countless times..
Sat at Esplanade Library & laughed our asses off..
Met Kai's friend..
Kai's friend is a nice person..
We ate at Makansutra..
& Filipinos & Indonesians surrounding us..
Never knew there's soooooooo many foreigners in Singapore..
While I'm having soooooooooo much fun outside..
I tend to neglect what's happening at home..
When I reached home..
Somehow realised Mum was crying..
Asked her why..
She said she's having flu..
Yeah right..
I definitely know how to differentiate between flu & crying..
Then in the morning..
Dad told that he got into an accident when he was on the way home the night before..
He did not notice the van..
Haf no idea if it was towards him or behind him..
Luckily the driver saw my dad & stopped immediately..
Luckily Dad is still alive..
Now his left leg, hands & stomach badly injured..
But he still go to work despite everything..
He did not want go haf a check-up or anything..
Stubborn man..
Keep talking bout death & stuff..
Feel like screaming at him so badly..
So that he'll just stop..
But I force myself not to..
Now his left leg covered with marks & everything..
& his stomach has blue-blacks marks..
Afraid that internally he'll suffer much worst complications..
'cause he's already in pain due to his henia operation..
& now this accident..
Haiz..
When somebody talks to you bout death..
& that he/she thinks that sooner or later he/she will passed on..
Do you believe what he/she told you?..
Are these tell-tale signs bout someone who's gonna die soon?????..
I hope Dad would not die sooner or later..
Like seriously..
I need him by my side..
He's my role model..
If he goes..
I'll just suffer terribly..
Physically, mentally, emotionally & spiritually..
I've no one else to turn to..
Nevertheless be myself ever again..
I'm sure I'm not be able to pick myself up..
& yes there'll be my other family members & friends to lend support..
But how much can they provide it to me????..
Others haf their own lives to care bout..
I dont want them to suffer just 'cause I'm suffering..
I dont know if this is called selfish or whatsoever..
But I'm just being me..
Like it or not..
I dont like people to care so much bout my life..
As in..
Helping me all the time when I'm in difficult times..
'Cause they should care more bout thmeselves rather than me..
What so good bout me?????..
I'm nothing..
Just a problematic soul which float aimlessly..
Yeah..
I appreciate it alot to those who always ther when I'm in need..
But totally please..
Stop it k..
Definitely begging this time..
I can help myself..
Prefer dealing everything on my own..
Thanks..
Dont ask me anything k..
Whether I'm okay or whatsoever..
What you see is what you get..
Just let me be this way..
I'm back to my own self..
Effing long post????..Like it or not..I'm just being me..