School's starting in 2o days' time..
Cant wait like seriously..
So that I can stay away from home so much..
That I can totally dont give a damn anymore 'bout what's going on at home..
Sounds extremely irresponsible ain't I?..
But like seriously..
You would react the same way if you knew my situation..
Okay..
No point asking me 'bout it..
I really want to start doing assignments or something..
Call me crazy or whatever..
But totally..
I'm so bored to the max..
& insomnia really hits me really really really bad..
Gonna be zoned out for the whole week..
Cant take it anymore..
But I can barely sleep though how exhausted I am..
& I'm getting more hyperactive..
Which is like killing me even worse..
Dad told me to quit band & dont ever think 'bout music ever again..
So that I can focus 100% on my studies..
'Cause band commitments are what making my grades from bad to worse..
But band is my passion..
Music is my interest..
Okay now it's more like a hobby to me..
I enjoyed it 'cause it's just to kill my boredom & totally free-time..
& yes I know..
I terribly can't multi-task..
Though how much I really think that I can..
But..
I will definitely put my studies first on top of anything else..
I need the grades to get into Uni..
I don't want get passes anymore..
It's time for me to get quality grades already..
& of course..
I need a CCA record too..
Quit & join something else?..
At least it's not band then it's perfectly fine?..
Well easy for you to say..
Band is my only talent..
& sports is what I do for fun, joy & entertainment..
Not something that I would enjoy committing in the long-run..
Oh my god..
Can't believe I just had this conversation with Dad over & over again..
He's been wanting me to quit since Sec 2..
Sec 2..
Can you believe it?..
Why must I sacrifice something that I love most for studies?..
Well studies is important to me too..
Well..
My course is what I have passion for also..
So it's like my life revolves around all my interests..
So..
To forgo one of my interests..
That's stupid isn't it?..
Why can't Dad just understand me?..
Yes..
I know he has good intentions..
But I won't quit band no matter what..
I think I know why he's afraid of?..
Scared that I'm gonna obtain leadership posts again..
Been getting them since primary school..
& yes..
I'm sick & tired of being a leader..
Like seriously..
I have no idea what people see in me that they can sense potential in me?..
Like hello?..
Me????!!!!!!!!!..
So not the suitable person to get whatever posts..
I'm just doing what I think every bandsmen should do..
So don't interpret my initiatives & opinions in any other way..
I'm seriously not gonna be a leader again Dad..
Trust me..
Not eyeing on them already..
Not that I've been wanting to be one since primary school..
I would rather be a normal band member..
I can still contribute in different ways..
Seriously need get a job..
Need money..
But now is not a good time to find one..
'Cause school's starting..
& yes..
I can't simply juggle school, CCA, work & my life as once when madness strikes from 20th April onwards..
'Cause yeah..
Sadly..
I can't multi-task..
So I've to excel in my studies..
So I can receive all the bursaries & stuff..
Oh god..
Don't worry..
I'll work even harder this time..
I won't quit band..
Though I sometimes think that I should..
Oh my.