Few weeks ago I was recommended by my best friend K to try out at his workplace. The retail industry. So yeah, I did. So, I was under probation then.

Well, I would say the whole experience was extremely, terribly, horribly, absolutely demoralising.

Okay. Why do I say this? Imagine you have no job experience & greatly willing to try anything, provided the manager gives you the green light to do so. However, imagine you are new there, & everyone, yes everyone, the staff + manager + manager's friends, start whispering about you in front of you?????? Yeah, I had been there done that.

I was judged 'cause of my appearance (the casual look on my face & the 'casual' working look that I have). The funny thing is, they have no guts to tell me straight to my face. Glad I'm able to notice what they were doing.

Now at the age of 20, I have becoming more self - aware & conscious about what others think, feel & what they might say about me. Not that I'm being paranoid or anything, just that I'm able to understand all these, about how people judge me, through their body language, eye contact, or even the way they speak to me.

I would say, they are fakers. Well, everyone is, including me. Anyway, I knew that the manager won't hire me. 'Cause I was released 15 mins earlier, & he did talked to me 'bout being efficiency.

So, thanks K for introducing me to your workplace.

I will not work in retail anymore. 'Cause people expect you to look presentable. Yeah, I will presentable if I have the chance to work & save money. So that I'm able to but all the clothes that I truly & yearn for since like forever.

No wonder people warn me to treasure school life till the fullest. 'Cause now I realise that the working world is sucky. But hey, all of us has to step into this world one way or another. I had not been feeling my best these few weeks thanks to this experience.

K. Bye.