Giving it another chance.

FINAL LAP.

2010-07-14T09:20:00.000-07:00

Year 2 Semester 1 is drawing to a near pretty soon. 4 more weeks of school & that's it. 2 months of semester break.

Now been busy with projects. & I've screwed all the deadlines. Nice.

The projects are all interesting. But why can't I put my heart & soul into all of it? My ideas are not shown in the works. Gosh. Need to get a grip of myself, seriously.

I really need better grades this time.

REMINDER TO SELF.

2010-07-03T13:45:00.000-07:00

NO MORE OF LAST MINUTE WORK FROM NOW ON.

Done with Scriptwriting's animation step outline. Need to cut down even more right now. But, shall do it tomorrow. Have to look at the sample step outline again. Sigh. Why am I always long - winded & have vague ideas? Why can't I just go straight to the point? :/ & submission is on Monday. Great.

Left with MoGraph. Extremely interesting assignment. Can keep in touch with Design&Typography once again. Graphic design. The stuff that I have been yearning to do. I have some ideas on the layout. Shall do it tomorrow as well. Submission on Tuesday :)

P.S. Have not been doing a good job on projects & assignments. Realise that my GPA will be the worst. Can I pull through all the final projects to achieve the grades that I want? If I believe, I can :)

PLANS RUINED.

2010-06-27T12:20:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling extremely stressful right now. This is the result of last minute work attitude of mine.

Left with 2 camfx projects. Yet to be completed. Struggling to finish them by tonight.

Photostory assignment is making me worried big time. One plan after another backfired. And, today's plans are delayed to the max. So frustrated. Not sure if I can pull everything off in the end. But luckily, I have supportive friends. Just need the camera & I'll be fine. But, oh wells.

Sleepless night again. Hope I will not fall asleep in class tomorrow, & at work as well.

P.S. talked to one of the colleagues in the cab home from work last Friday. What he said kept me thinking. Well, 'bout his time management & work ethics towards studies that is. I really admire his attitude. I wanna be like him. But can I?

WHAT AM I UP TO?

2010-06-25T10:35:00.000-07:00

The school break is slowly coming to its end. Yet, projects & assignments have not been done completely.

I'm left with 3 - CAMFX's photostory & game opening storyboard, and, HARD MOD's petrol station design.

I keep on changing my ideas for the photostory assignment. This explains my extreme fickle - mindedness. I hope this time, my project will turn out to be wayyyyyy better than the previous ones. Well, if only I could find another guy to be my model. Going to complete this on Sunday. Hope that the weather would be nicer.

I already have ideas for the game opening assignment. Just find it hard to disseminate the ideas from thoughts into writing on paper. Not sure if my ideas would be feasible too. What a bummer!

Went to school yesterday with Jiao Mao to complete our petrol station + deserted road design. I guess she's almost completed hers (3/4 done I supposed), while mine, halfway done. But seriously, I'm proud to say that my designing skills are getting better. Well, able to concentrate for many hours without fidgeting to complete the design. Hope everything will turn out well for this assignment. I need the grades man.

P.S. working later. Not sure if I would be dragging my feet to work. 'Cause so caught up with my assignments that I dread the idea of needed to work. Oh wells.

THOUGHTS.

2010-06-16T15:20:00.000-07:00

Halfway done with hardware modeling project. Either design a petrol station or a deserted road. Well, designing a deserted road will be damn easy for me. But, I decide to design a petrol station instead. I'm taking this as a challenge for myself. 'Cause I know I suck big time at computer - related stuff.

So, I did a design for it. The basic shapes are done. But, I'm afraid that it will be disproportional. Decide to stop designing it till next week. 'Cause I have no idea how to design the petrol nozzle thingy & the cables dangling out & all.

I somehow picture how the petrol station gonna be like in my head already. Hope it will turn out great. Not gonna post my design here. 'Cause I do not think it it up to standard yet.

So now, I'm gonna progress with the other assignments & projects left in my agenda.

K bye.

P.S. my one insecurity is getting the best of me.

FALLING TO PIECES.

2010-06-15T00:10:00.000-07:00

I'm breaking down again. This time it is 'cause of family problems. What's new, heh? There is something new actually. This time, I have no more tears to waste though I'm depressingly pondering over everything that's going on in the house. Great. Something that I really deserve when I'm on work break. Looking forward to work again, in three weeks' time, that is.

THE GAME.

2010-06-14T15:35:00.000-07:00

I absolutely hate the comparison game. Okay, maybe I enjoy it once or twice. But, if it keeps on progresses, I feel guilty about the whole thing. Especially when it is comparing you & your own blood.

Okay. Why the heck do I feel guilty when Dad compares me & him all the time? I hate him (not Dad obviously). Really, really hate him. Perhaps, I just do not want any more drama going on further in the house. I rather mind my own business, than being caught up in mindless, endless strings of bickerings.

Then again, I hate it when Dad compares us, in terms of our academic excellence, attitudes & how well we manage our money. Of course, I receive the compliments. Which somehow, I feel proud to be praised, but at the same time, how I just wished Dad would stop this game anymore.

WHAT'S ON MY MIND?

2010-06-14T01:50:00.000-07:00

I have been asking myself this question every single day - Is it worth to go to work, just for the sake of looking forward to have jolly great time with the usual colleagues? Sadly, my opinion about this keeps fluctuating.

Yesterday's question that was being thrown at me by one of the colleagues hit me hard. "Are you crazy? Are you trying to kill yourself by working damn long hours? " Well, somewhere along this line, that is. Of course, she said it in a wayyyyy nicer tone than how I interpret her question to be.

True. Why the heck am I working long hours? Is it even worth it? Has my intention of working part - time turns into more monetary benefits? I really hope I have not changed into a materialistic & money - minded person.

Anyway, back to work. I worked from 2PM - 5AM yesterday (sat). Exactly. Crazy, ain't I? And I realise something, only guys extend till closing, or at least till 3AM the latest. And girls end their shift around 10PM the latest. In other words, I would be the last girl standing most of the time doing closing. Reason being? I don't know, but, I find guys are more entertaining & fun to work with. Also, they are easier to work with too, as compared to girls, bitching, love - hate relationships aside.

I'm glad that I rarely have shortages now. But, the fear of having one always strikes me before, during & after I begin my shift. And this fear is the one that always making me having shortages. Not sure if I can overcome this. Working in Box has been an experience, depending on the people that I'm working with. Some days are totally mundane, while some other days, all of us are just plain talkative. Haha!

And yesterday I'm extremely made a fool out of myself - with patrons, some of the promotions, refunding tickets & when opening my mouth to converse with others. Gosh. I seriously need to get a hold of myself. And it is going to be a month since I started out being in Box, & I have yet to master some of the promotions. Need to really learn fast. That aside, I received free popcorn from a couple. How nice of them :)

On top of that, the number of "bfs" that I have at work is accumulating. I have no idea how the guys do it, but they sure love to make fun of me.

Talked to Dad about something. He told me to keep out of it as it is none of my business to be involved. Then again, I know both their sides of the story, well more or less, that is. And both of them really have serious issues with each other. Can't blame them, both being hot - headed. But, I feel guilty. One of them is my friend & someone whom I think is getting to know more of each working day. And the other is someone of a higher position. Oh man, some things I just can't help out in.

Fatigue is slowly creeping in. The result of working long hours. But, I seriously don't mind. My working world is filled with a bunch of fun people, as compared to my other worlds.

P.S. I miss usher days. Really hope I can go back & stay permanently there. Learning three areas is not fun. 'Cause once an usher, always an usher :)

MAIN PRIORITY.

2010-06-11T01:40:00.000-07:00

Decided not to work during the upcoming 2 weeks' school break. Seriously need to get back on track with school life.

I certainly see changes in myself lately. I kinda keep more to myself in class. Falling asleep. Neglecting school work as much as possible. Not paying attention during lessons.

I've somehow planned my study schedule:

1) HARDWARE MODELING (room lighting, orange lighting, car modeling)

= TO BE DONE OVER THE WEEKENDS =

2) CAMFX (photostory FULL planning & confirm who has dslr)

= TO BE DONE ON MON / TUES =

3) HARDWARE MODELING (petrol station / deserted road design)

= TRY DESIGN AS FAR AS POSSIBLE ON WED =

4) THURS - SUN (photostory shoot)

5) MON (rest / photostory editing)

6) SCRIPTWRITING (2 synopsis for animation)

= TO BE DONE ON TUES =

7) WED (rest)

8) THURS - FRI (continue with hard mod design)

9) CAMFX (games opening layout & pitch)

= TO BE DONE OVER THE WEEKENDS =

Seriously need to check this schedule regularly over the 2 weeks. Though I may be viewed by my classmates as lazy during this semester, I am actually determined to excel. Well, according to my own limitations, own pace, own time & own capabilities. I realise that I may be re - taking some of the modules, but, I don't care. As long as I do my work properly, though submitting late, as least, there is a sense of accomplishment for completing them.

P.S. I know colleagues will inflence me to work during the 2 weeks' break. But, I must totally resist the idea of working, though work seems much more fun.

OH MANNNNN.

2010-06-08T09:05:00.000-07:00

I swear nothing is going on between me & him. It is just a joke made by both of them. But apparently, the news are spreading extremely fast at work about me & one of them.

I might like part of the teasing & all, well, somehow 'cause I'm in the limelight & stuff. But, it is kinda annoying 'cause it seems that everyone thinks I have a crush on him. & I bet he thinks I like him too. Which I seriously don't.

The other guys teased me too. & I guess they think I like him.

Oh man. What am I going to do? I enjoy being around him 'cause he's funny. & I don't like him ever. But, why do I feel nervous whenever I see him from a distance?

Shit.

JEOPARDISING MY OWN FUTURE.

2010-05-27T22:00:00.000-07:00

Great. My grades will just go down the drain this semester.

Have not been concentrating in class almost every single day. Instead, I had been sleeping!

I will definitely fail hardware modeling 'cause I had not done anything yet. & Monday is the submission.

Totally fucked up, & I have only myself to blame.

Need to get my life back on the right track. But, I prefer working life than schooling life. At least, I feel more welcomed & appreciated by my colleagues than school people.

HEYLOW.

2010-05-16T23:25:00.000-07:00

Have not slept at all since I got back to work. Guess what? I extended my work schedule yesterday from 1AM to 3AM. Well, I actually intended to extend till 5AM, but, knowing that I'd to share a cab with two crazy mat ushers, I'm so glad that I did not do so.

Call me crazy to make that kind of decision, but I felt bored staying at home. Seriously. So, I prefer to be at work. But now, I have to learn to manage my time between school & work. I managed to redo scriptwriting assignments & finish up 1 of art&des projects today. Argh. Jiayou!

Anyway, back to my work topic, I think people will be sick & tired of me telling them about how's my work have been & stuff. It's like there's no other topics for me to talk about besides this. Kk, anyway right, work yesterday was fun, as usual. It's just that it's damn chaotic due to lack of ushers & cleaners. But other than that, I had fun. I got teased again by the duo (they are damn perverted & crazy; as if I'm not) & talked alot with one of the trainees.

Sadly, I had to go do box office starting tomorrow. Not sure how I should react when 4 managers at one go surrounded me (well, it seems like they were but actually not but whatever) & telling me that I'll be transferred at that moment. But, I think I'm going to give box a try. I will definitely miss usher though 'cause they have great & fun people there. Oh wells.

SUFFERING.

2010-05-15T13:00:00.000-07:00

I'm on the verge of breaking down right now. I'm caught in the middle of alot of things. I'm not blaming anyone but the culprit is me. School, work, pondering over band commitments, family & him have been on my mind all the time.

I realise that my studies are deteriorating. & my attitude towards school & assignments is totally unacceptable. My laziness & taking - my - own - sweet - time - to - finish mood are getting myself into trouble.

ART & DESIGN JOURNAL & CATALOGUE & SCRIPTWRITING SYNOPSIS & STEP OUTLINE are my biggest fears right now. I have yet to have inspirations to have ideas flowing out smoothly. HARDWARE MODELING is scaring me too. I've never been such an asshole at computer graphics before. Gosh. I'm losing it already.

I could feel the terrible pressure and stress creeping in & wrapping me up in all directions. I can't take anymore of this much longer. I seriously need to pull myself together. If not, I can spell R - E - T - A - K - E of all modules in just a blink of an eye.

ART&DES assignment for Fri 14/05/10. Magazine - cutouts setting with human anatomy drawings of classmates. Surprisingly out of stress & inability of proving that I can do excellent & quality work, these two drawings are considered as my best.

SINGLE.

2010-05-13T18:15:00.000-07:00

I guess there's should be some explanation to why I resort to such a decision yesterday's night. I felt terribly guilty for treating R this way. People had been asking if I'm really in a relationship or I'm just faking it since others are having partners too. I'm like what the fuck. Seriously, I feel that it's a matter of choice of keeping my love life at a very low profile.

No one knows who's my bf, or may I say, my ex. The thing is, I do not want people to judge my relationship with R. 'Cause I'm definitely sure that people will do so once they find out.

I guess my choice of breaking up with my ex is due to influence of my closest friends' opinions about our relationship. Since talking to them about it, I kept having second thoughts about the whole thing. Then, why am I in this relationship in the first place? Well, I realise that it is no harm of giving R a chance since we begin liking each other.

But then, does age really matters when it comes to a relationship? The fact that I'm 20 & he's 31, will it be trouble or impossible for us to be together? My friends' answers were yes. Well to me, I guess it's not a big of a deal. But, I have no idea why I decided to have it ended this way.

My reason to him: I've been flirting with other guys behind his back. & that, I have not been sincere & honest to him. It's not fair for me to treat him this way. & we decided to remain as friends, however, I wonder if this friendship going to last.

Should I continue settling this matter with him or avoid him now & forever? Gosh. I feel horribly bad right now. Sorry R.

WORK.

2010-05-12T10:30:00.000-07:00

It seems that I've been totally psych to go to work rather than focusing on my studies. Shit. Have to get my priorities right again. If Dad knows that I'm not doing great in school, he probably nag at me.

Anyway, I have no idea why but I prefer working with guys around and being the only girl, as compared to having guys and girls working together. Dont ask me why okay 'cause I dunno. Maybe it's just how I am.

& I've revealed my true colours to some of my colleagues while working last Monday. Anyone, including them, will not expect vulgarities & open-mindedness coming out of me. Unless they get to know me better. 'Cause I always keep quiet & observe people rather than being so upfront & making friends in an instant.

Hence, had a blast working last Monday. At least now I get to do more stuff than just tearing patrons' tickets. & I've to admit it, mistakes always arise when one does something new. Fortunately, I do not feel demoralised whatsoever when being scolded by the managers, get complains from patrons or did lots of mistakes last Monday. Well, maybe this is what life is.

Okay. I'm working today. & surely, my colleagues will be talking crap to me again. Oh wells.

HEY.

2010-05-11T21:40:00.000-07:00

Happy 1 week bf. =)

So, we were supposed to go out on last Sunday. But, bf had something on that day. Planning for our date another day, still. Sorry 'cause I'm busy with school & work. Maybe soon, kay? :)

Told two of my closest friend 'bout my r/s. As expected, they are not keen of us being together. Maybe 'cause to them, looks matter & due to our huge age gap.

But I should give him a chance right? Well, I'm not sure myself. Been thinking 'bout this everyday. I really do not want to dump another guy before he can prove that he is right for me. One thing that I appreciate of bf is that I could be truthful to him, regardless of what I have in mind. But, all these are through our daily SMS convos. Bf is so understanding :) I'm just scared that our r/s will have to end soon 'cause of disapproval from many parties.

=)

2010-05-04T21:15:00.000-07:00

I know today is just the beginning.

But, I hope we will last forever.

Love you R.

BRAND NEW YEAR.

2010-04-18T15:30:00.000-07:00

School will begin from tomorrow onwards.

I'm greatly thankful for the not-so-hectic timetable. Most of us who went to Bangkok last year only have 5 modules to focus on for this coming sem. I guess all of us are happy about it. Furthermore, I'm really looking forward for the modules. Pretty interesting, they may seem.

What matters most, I love my IS. ART & DESIGN. I've downloaded the assignment for the week 1. To be exact, the ppt slides. Woah, I would say. I'm really looking forward for this module. All the assignments & projects are extremely interesting. But what I'm nervous about is that every assignment is pretty challenging & time-consuming TTC & TTM. But hey, I'm totally up for anything this sem. Ideas are starting to flow in my head right now, pertaining to the first project. Note to self - Once an art student, always an art student.

Okay. Now, I may seem psycho or more than that. But, I have planned a study schedule for myself. So, well, only I know what it is. All the best for me then.

Another thing is, it won't hurt abit to have targets set for my modules. So, since I already secured an A & a B for the 2 modules took in Bangkok, here's my grade targets for Sem 1:

ART & DESIGN - : AD

SCRIPTWRITING - : AD

MOTION GRAPHICS & BROADCAST DESIGN - : B+

CAMERA & LIGHTING EFFECTS - : B

HARDWARE MODELLING - : B

These targets may seem absurd. But anything to kick my ass off to achieve a GPA of 3 or above. Why such targets? I need something to push myself to achieve what I want. Okay, it's more of my own way of being hardworking. I truly need to do this. Heh. Nevermind. You guys will never get what I meant. It's okay.

On a heavier note, now I have to learn to juggle all these : SCHOOL + WORK + PERSONAL LIFE + FAMILY PROBLEMS + HIM.

Arghhhhh. GREAT. K. Bye.

JOB-LESS NO MORE.

2010-04-18T15:05:00.000-07:00

I received a call from Cathay a week ago. I applied for a job there twice. My best friend A recommended the job, since she had been working there for quite a long time now.

Anyway, the call was for a walk - in interview. As usual, me being me, I was always nervous. Regardless of all occasions, be it from going to school to going somewhere new.

Luckily, the interview finally paid off. To my amazement, the manager was greatly excited to accept me as a new staff there. Lol. He told me that I'm earnest (another for determined to try something new; can't believe that I actually look up for the meaning in the dic, this explains that I have a rusty vocab). Also, he said that I certainly will not have any problem communicating with the customers. Well, I really hope I will not. One, smiling for me is a huge problem. So, I really have to practice faking smiling all the time from now onwards. Second, I always mumble & get overly nervous while talking to people. So, practice in this area makes me perfect too. Oh wells.

Anyway, the funny thing is that, the manager told me that he turned down two people that had went for the walk - in interview before me. Wow. I was utterly surprised by that. I thought that I would not even have a chance in getting a job. Ever. Well, blame myself for my pessimism towards myself.

Okay. I starting my first day of work tomorrow. Great isn't it? By the way, that's sarcasm if you do not realise. I have 1 hour to travel down from Bukit Timah to Dhoby Ghaut tomorrow after tomorrow's school. GREAT.

YOU.

2010-04-18T15:00:00.000-07:00

I'm in a way glad that I'm starting to know you better as each day passes by. & you are beginning to know me better too.

In turn , I greatly realise that knowing a guy like you from there has its own consequences. But the thing is, I'm smart enough to eliminate guys who are extremely open - minded. & yes I also know that, all of us have that open - mindedness going on inside us. However, what matters most is that we can control those raging hormones.

You may not know this, I do not think you will ever find out, but, I'm starting to have some feelings towards you. I hope you do too. But, oh wells, I will never know 'cause you are still getting to know some other girls in there. So, I now can only hope for the best.

On a lighter note, I'm happy that our friendship is growing. I like you R.

NO JOB EXPERIENCE.

2010-04-17T16:30:00.000-07:00

Few weeks ago I was recommended by my best friend K to try out at his workplace. The retail industry. So yeah, I did. So, I was under probation then.

Well, I would say the whole experience was extremely, terribly, horribly, absolutely demoralising.

Okay. Why do I say this? Imagine you have no job experience & greatly willing to try anything, provided the manager gives you the green light to do so. However, imagine you are new there, & everyone, yes everyone, the staff + manager + manager's friends, start whispering about you in front of you?????? Yeah, I had been there done that.

I was judged 'cause of my appearance (the casual look on my face & the 'casual' working look that I have). The funny thing is, they have no guts to tell me straight to my face. Glad I'm able to notice what they were doing.

Now at the age of 20, I have becoming more self - aware & conscious about what others think, feel & what they might say about me. Not that I'm being paranoid or anything, just that I'm able to understand all these, about how people judge me, through their body language, eye contact, or even the way they speak to me.

I would say, they are fakers. Well, everyone is, including me. Anyway, I knew that the manager won't hire me. 'Cause I was released 15 mins earlier, & he did talked to me 'bout being efficiency.

So, thanks K for introducing me to your workplace.

I will not work in retail anymore. 'Cause people expect you to look presentable. Yeah, I will presentable if I have the chance to work & save money. So that I'm able to but all the clothes that I truly & yearn for since like forever.

No wonder people warn me to treasure school life till the fullest. 'Cause now I realise that the working world is sucky. But hey, all of us has to step into this world one way or another. I had not been feeling my best these few weeks thanks to this experience.

K. Bye.

NIGHT CYCLING.

2010-04-15T19:05:00.000-07:00

As mentioned in the previous post entry, I'll be going for a night cycling trip with NP bandmates. Yeah I know, what the hell am I doing with band people? Contradicting, ain't I? Nevertheless, these people are the usual clique I hang out with.

Anyway, met YY at Bedok station. My badddd. I'm late. Sorry YY!!!! Supposedly meeting Nazri initially, but he had to look after his younger brother at the last moment. Hope to meet up with you soon, MR. ANNOYING!!!!!! Met Wan & Metoh at ECP. Around 8pm or so?????

The whole experience, I would say, was really enjoyable & something new to me. Believe it or not, I did not sleep the night before (which 9th Apr). So, to accomplish this 'mission' was pretty amazing. Thanks to the 4 guys for putting up with my never - ending nonsense the whole night. Oh yeah, did I mention that we cycled from ECP to Suntec to Town, back to Suntec then ECP? Yeah, hence, the tiring route ever.

But, we did had a couple of 'pit - stops', 'major pit - stops' (which we took a nap for around 1 hour) & ate at Adam Rd. All of us had sore butts. & YY led us to our destinations. I feel terribly sorry & truly think I hold the responsibility for the-not-so-smooth-sailing cycling experience.

All the frustrations I had in which I used to put myself down the whole cycling trip was argh, I'm so mad at myself for portraying my childish side. I gave up easily along the way, throwing tantrums, & yeah, you guessed it, behaving like an oversized baby. I'm glad the guys tolerated all of these. Well, at least they tried to do so.

So, thanks guys for the hang out. I swear, I will not do this ever again. Reason being, I do not want to bring down the morale of the whole group. & band people being band people, they talked about band music & stuff all the time. I'm like what the hell. & I was persuaded once again to go back to band. Hell no, I will never ever again do that stuff again. Sadly, I'm so glad I'm able to differentiate between band life & reality when I was one of them. That is, I do not have band music in my iPod or talk about band 24/7. Nonetheless, I give my heart & soul during band times.

But, what the heck. That was then, now is now. I'm glad that I'm still accepted to be in the company of my band peeps. But, now I would say, I should just distance myself from them, because they deserve each other more than I deserve them. I guess, this would be better. Yeah, I will do it. Not to say that I'm being selfish, but it is for their own good.

K. Bye.

HANG OUTS.

2010-04-03T23:30:00.000-07:00

Day: Sunday

Date: 28th March 2010

Went to JP to meet Josh Low & Ang Yi Yang. I guess this was a kinda of an impromptu plan. Anyway, I'm glad they asked me out 'cause it had been such a long period of time not seeing these two guys. Due to them entering NS, of course.

Watched Diary of a Wimpy Kid. I would say, I rate this movie 2 out of 5 stars? It is not a bad movie, yet not that good either. No further comments 'bout it. Heh. After movie, we went home 'cause Josh had some other plans & YY needed to book in.

Me, YY & Josh :DDDDD

This was indeed the shortest ever meet - up that I have been to. But, we promise to have another meet - up soon. Yay!!!!! & meet - up's coming really really soon. Can't wait for 10th April. Night cycling trip = ) Confirmation has yet to be discussed though. I wonder who will turn up. & I hope I'm not the only girl again in the group.

Enough said, I need to start sleeping earlier. So that I won't end up getting injured again while falling asleep admist all the cycling on the road. Well, this happened quite a long time back. Heh.

Day: Saturday

Date: 3rd April 2010

Went to JP to meet with cuzzie. Received her SMS around 9.30AM. Hah, but I only replied an hour later. My bad. I slept around 7AM today 'cause terribly hooked up with the laptop. So anyway, I totally agree for this meet - up 'cause I had been longing to go out.

Met cuzzie around 1PM. Watched How To Train Your Dragon in 2D. Yeah I know, I watched it already. But hey, no harm right? Enjoyed the movie once again. I will rate it 5 out of 5 stars. Awesome animation & storyline. & it seems that both of us somehow have similar preference when it comes to choosing the kinds of movies to watch.

But, the biggest scoop is that we saw 2 teenage Caucasian guys!!!!!!!! =DDDDDDD Seriously, I guess I'm the only one hyperventilating while cuzzie remained calm. Heh. They are soooooo gorgeously - looking. By the way, today's cinema was packed & the theatre watching this particular movie was almost full house! Can you believe it?

Oh yeah, the movie began at 1.50PM. So, both of us ended up walking aimlessly around JP. This's a repetitive routine after the movie ended. Haha. Lol.

& yeah, so, we headed down to have a K - Box session. Heh. I'm such a "TERRIFIC" singer. I'm becoming better & better each time. Not. But, credits had to go to cuzzie :) She can really sing. I envy her. Haha. In a good way, of course.

Me & cuzzie Samiyah :DDDDDD

Enjoyed today's meet - up. & totally love cuzzie!!!!!! It's so rare to go out unlike last time, I guess. Due to my busy school schedules & cuzzie's working & busy with her own family. But, I hope that we can have more outings together. Thanks sis for everything :) I enjoyed what we talked 'bout today too.

& I suggest to Dad that both of us should catch How To Train Your Dragon in few days to come. Well, Dad has not been to the cinemas, not even once. Besides, he loves the trailer. So, I hope we can do so. Heh. Catching the night slot one after Dad finishes work. Yay!!!!! But, have yet to confirm when. Oh wells.

K. Bye.

MY WISH.

2010-04-01T00:16:00.000-07:00

MY WISH IS TO SEE YOU DIE IN HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HI.

2010-03-25T16:00:00.000-07:00

Okay. Had not been blogging for quite a while now. Simply 'cause, I totally have nothing to blog 'bout. Well, actually I do. But, once I'm thinking 'bout blogging my thoughts, I just can't bring myself to do so. I guess, it's better for me to battle my own war in my head & within me. I don't find it a good thing to pour out my thoughts.

Wanna know why? Well, I think there's no reason behind this decision. Perhaps, others may disagree with me on this. But personally, I've always been this way. People might say there's always room / opportunity / a choice for one to change. Well, I don't think I can. Especially when it comes to sharing my problems with others. Why must one be anyway? In the end, I feel that I might just consider others as being nosey, wanting to know 'bout my life, & spread everything around. Yeah i know, paranoia. But, this is me.

One reason I'm not blogging for quite a while is 'cause my mind is totally in a mess. One moment, I think I got a hold of my own life, the next moment, I come crumbling once again. & I realise one thing, friends easily come & go out of my life nowadays. GREAT. By the end I end my Poly years, I definitely have ZERO friends. Just what I had wished for.

Anyway, applied for a job at Grand Cathay's cinemas. I had not receive any call from them yet. Yeah, why do I even bother to wait? I won't get it anyway. Well, Dad told me that, 'cause of the shortlisting procedure. Oh wells. & thanks Carmen & Beverley for accompanying me that day. Totally had a good time! Watched How To Train Your Dragon in 3D afterwards. I would say, nice storyline & for the very first time, it's my first favourite animated movie. Am I kidding? No I'm not. It's so hard for me, seriously, to appreciate such movies. & yes, ironic isn't it? 'Cause I'm in a course which has to deal alot with such movies. Oh wells, again.

On a lighter note, my current obssession is on this guy:

Hot body huh? Yes, I would totally agree :DDDDDD

Okay, in case you are wondering, he's Brando Eaton, an American actor. & have no idea who's the heck is he? Go watch The Secret Life of The American Teenager (can't wait for season 3!!!). He appears in season 2. Haiz. I hope he's not gay in real life. Then again, he makes an awesomely, terrific, gorgeous-looking gay guy.

K. Bye.

CHANGE CHANGE CHANGE.

2010-03-16T12:35:00.000-07:00

Boy don't I feel more refreshed & focused than never before. Wanna know why? Well, 'cause I decided to make some lifestyle changes to myself. In other words, instilling into myself a healthy way of living from now onwards.

As a matter of fact, I started this lifestyle yesterday. Yeah. Okay, basically, I picked up my exercise routine which I had long stop doing. This routine includes some leg & hand stretching, leg raises, crunches & sit-ups. & guess what? Since yesterday, I did 5 sets of each exercise & 50 leg raise & crunches & 100 sit-ups. Yeah, no kidding. & you might be thinking "Is this girl out of her mind?!"

Well, trust me, I think I am. I must be crazy right to do such a, well should I say, a vigorous exercise routine, in which is my first, after such a loooooooonnnnnnnnnngggggggggggg time. But, to me, when there is a will, there is definitely a way. & yes, would I say that I feel that I am able to take control of my own life right now. In fact, the way I take charge of myself is waaaaaayyyyyyyy better as compared to my 19 years of living. Well, I am 20 now.

Anyway, I could feel my body is getting used & "adapting" well to my new routine. Way to go bod! :DDDDDD Besides just picking up my exercise routine back, I decide to pick up my own version of diet. & yes, I am absolutely sticking to this routine. Okay, for breakfast, my meal will include a bowl of oatmeal plus a cup of strawberry milk / warm milk / milo. I guess this is a good set of breakfast for anyone, honestly.

& I have to agree that this type of breakfast could last me till evening, when I have my dinner. & yesterday, for dinner, I had only a scoop of white rice on the plate plus loooooottttttttsssssss of vegetables & fish. & of course, a cup of plain water. Boy, was I really full after this meal. So, I gonna pick up this kind of meal. Which is, only one scoop of rice to fill up my stomach. 'Cause I realise that my appetite is getting smaller each day. In other words, I get full easily & one meal at a time is seriously enough for me. Or would I say, one meal a day?

Oh, did I mention that my exercise routine is twice a day? In the morning & evening. Cool huh? Also, I apply this firming gel tingy which I had not been using for quite a while. & I too realise that it somehow control the rate I eat normally. Something like green tea. Okay, last time, my all - time favourite drink was green tea. & it controls the way I consume. Probably you guys might think that I am being dumb to believe in all these kinds of stuff? But, whatever, this is what I believe. Heh.

I guess my gastric is getting better too as I start to follow this healthy lifestyle. Okay, you guys might be wondering why I do this to myself. Which is like torturing my own body. But hey, I really wanna be thin like those girls. Well, not those aneroxic kinda girls. I just wanna have an acceptable weight & have an ideal look. This way, I am sure be able to fit into all the clothes which all the thin girls whom I envy all the time wear to look good. Thin people look so fashionable in whatever they wear. Most importantly, they feel good about themselves. That matters most. & the opposite sex are so attracted to them. Unlike people like me. Okay, yes, I surely sound desperate & depressed when I say this.

But hey, I totally salute & admire fat people too. Especially those who are so confident in what they are wearing, not worrying at all of what others might say about them. I am more envious of them as compared to my envy towards thin girls. How I wish I could be like this. What a bummer huh, thanks to my low self - esteem, I am unable to do that. But, I have no regrets to pick this routine of mine.

So, kudos to me!!!!!! Gonna continue this lifestyle till the day I die. K. Bye.

HEYLO.

2010-03-13T15:45:00.000-08:00

Been a week since I blogged. Sitting at home every single day now. Dad's not giving me allowance 'cause well, it's the holidays. So yeah, pointless to go out everyday (I yearn so badly to go out!) as once I go out, it's definitely a never - ending story.

Did some errands around the house, like going to the bank to deposit / withdraw money from Dad's & Grandma's accounts, pay handphone bills, buy food & drinks for Mum & recently, went to SGH to buy medication for Grandma. Arghhhhhh. I feel so stupid when communicating with people in public, like stallholders or nurses. It totally feels demoralising & I was miserable when these situations happened. Fortunately, nobody whom I knew were there. Nevertheless, I could feel strangers staring at me & just give me their ARE-YOU-DUMB-OR-DUMB look. Gosh. I should had won the Absolute Embarrassment of the Year Award on the spot mannnnnnn.

That aside, I have been procrastinating about finding a part-time job. Yeah. Had not been looking. Family problem is the main problem for me not finding one. You might say this is probably the lamest excuse on earth for one to be hindered from gaining some working experience. But hey, this is the issue I have yet to break away from & it has seriously build a wall between myself & the goals that I really want to achieve. If anyone who is brave enough to break down this barrier, it should be me. Nonetheless, I do not have the courage still to do so. I feel like a moron & loser right now.

Okay, you might say it is a matter of choice in this scenario. And, it is a choice that I must make to make things happen. Yeah, you're definitely on my Dad's side when it comes to this. He always tell me that I'm old enough to make decisions for my own good. However, for me, this is just plain bullshit & he totally contradicts himself each time. Like, school, for instance, I go home extremely late everyday 'cause well, my modu

les are total time-consumers. On the face value, Dad said, "It's alright. I can manage. You're still schooling & education is important. Don't worry about me, I'll be okay." Or, somewhere along that line. Yeah right. Then, why do I always see him struggle to make everyone in our family happy & satisfied. & whenever he asked me to offer him some help around the house, I can only see regret & disappointment drawn across his face? Regret for asking me for help when he knew my answer would be "No", "Sorry, I can't, schoolwork" or "Can you stop disturbing me?! I need to concentrate" all the time. Disappointment 'cause I'm a bloody selfish bitch & only think about myself.

So yeah. This explains why I can't find work right now. & I don't think I would be finding one anytime soon or 5 or 10 years down the road. Well, at least now, the holidays, I'm able to ease Dad's burdens for a minute amount. Reason being, I'm the second person in the family who know the schedules for Mum's & Grandma's medication timings, how & when to help Grandma change her diapers & procedures for Mum's glucose takings, injections & blood pressure takings. Besides that, Dad talks to me the most in the house anyway.

But, I had not been wasting my time idling at home. I have started to draw. YAAYYYYY!!!!!!!! Had done 2 drawings so far. Took 4 days to complete them. Just started on a 3rd one. I decide to take a break from drawing today, 'cause my eyes & brain pleading me to do so. Strange but whenever I start drawing or colouring, my eyes start to be blurry. This makes me thinking of getting my eyes checked & wear a pair of spectacles. But, Dad enlightens me that I have no eye problems whatsoever.

Not sure if I should upload photos of my drawings. What do you think?

Hehe. Pic of me for your entertainment. Thanks for commenting in FB that this is rather an interesting photo. I would have to agree. Hur hur. Okay, randomly speaking, I'm thinking of getting a camera. What kind of camera do you think that I should get? Any recommendations? But well, then again, money is an issue anyway. Oh wells.

& yeah, I did some research & already plan what courses I love to be enrolled into in University. Decided between NTU (ART, DESIGN & MEDIA in FILM, INME or VISC) & RDI (BACHELOR of DESIGN majoring in GRAPHIC DESIGN or MULTIMEDIA DESIGN). Is this plan too soon for me or is it okay to have a plan structured now? Well, since I have just completed poly first year. Comments, anyone?

K. Bye.

YES.

2010-03-05T18:20:00.000-08:00

I finally have the groove & mood to build up on my portfolio. These are what I have in mind for my portfolio:

- Hand - drawn of designs (words, drawings & sketches of my perspective about life; along with short descriptions of what my works all about)

- Photoshoped & illustrated of designs (own interpretation about what life means to me; along with short descriptions of what my works all about)

- Poems (love, relationship, life, own thoughts, feelings & emotions)

- Stories (anything that I find interesting to write about; need to find my storytelling paper 1st & expand on my vocabulary before diving in to create stories)

- Scriptwriting (turn my stories into scripts)

On top of that, I'm thinking of creating poems, stories & scripts in Malay. Perhaps I might do so.

In future, I really want to enter competitions to publicise my works. At least, my effort won't go to waste after all.

On the heavier note, I have to save money to buy these:

- Stationery (pencils, pencil lead, black felt-tip pens)

- Colour pencils

- Paint & paintbrushes

- Spray so that the colours on my drawings stay intact

- Sketchbook

Woohoo!!!!!!!! Need to really get the materials fast before my ideas run dry :)

K bye.

Waiting.

2010-03-04T19:10:00.000-08:00

I'm so anxious to know my results right now. Sigh. It'll only be released on Friday, 19th March, from 9AM onwards. Oh mannnnnnn. The date's so far away. & yes, I need to start building up on my portfolio. I'm going to do scripts, write stories & do some graphic designs (both computerised & hand drawn). Perhaps I might also consider on doing photography. For now, when school reopens, I need to get all the videos that I had acted in from my classmates & also the videos where I'm behind the scenes. Hehe.

I can do my portfolio if I really want to. Just have to ignore my high level of laziness. I seriously need to get back the working drive I once had back in secondary school days. & my vocabulary has stop expanding. My English language is getting worst. NEED TO BUCK UP!!!!!!!!

On a heavier note, I guess, I gotten 6 1/2 out of 20 marks for my Soc Psych Journal 2 Assignment, which is rather demoralising. & B+ for presentation. What's wrong with me mannnnnn? Grades are deteriorating. I NEED TO REALLY TAKE THEORY TESTS SERIOUSLY & STUDYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. Talking 'bout guys & relationships with B have kept me thinking.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?

2010-03-01T01:30:00.000-08:00

Blogging 'bout my thoughts, feelings, emotions & the daily happenings in my life has never been this difficult before. & I seriously hate it.

I'm tired of being pushed around & taken for granted anymore. But what can I do?

Past - Times.

2010-02-21T23:00:00.000-08:00

I really have to look for a part - time job soon mannnnnn. I seriously can use the extra cash. I'm totally broke and asking Dad for money every single day just kills me. Yeah, it's fine for him 'cause he always say " I'm your dad. I'm suppose to give you money. You're still schooling. " Blah blah blah. Then, why is he always extremely stressed up about the family's financial problems? See. That's why I need to find a job, since it's the holidays right now too.

Anyway, I've been downloading LOTTTTTSSSSSS of movies since the first day of the holidays. Gonna fill up my freetime watching them all. Heh.

Besides that, I watched GLEE!!!!!!!!! :) Woohoo! The show's great!

This show was shown on Fox. It's about a group of misfits joining the glee club, formed by their Spanish teacher, Will Shuester. After watching the show online, all 13 episodes of it, I immediately download the whole season 1. They do great mash - ups and covers of songs, e.g. Take A Bow and Gold Digger!!!!!! :)

Now, I'm gonna watch the show on re - run. Wooooottttttsssssss!

P.S. I love Kurt, Artie, Will & Mercedes!!!!! =D

& not forgetting Gossip Girl!!!!! Waiting for season 3 episode 13 to be aired on March 8. But, I'm gonna watch it online by the way. Heh. I have season 1 & 2 ( courtesy of A. ) Thanks babe! :) & I've downloaded the first 12 episodes for season 3. Gosh, it's soooooo agonising having to wait for centuries for this show. Oh mannnnnnn.

P.S. I'm starting to have a crush on Chuck Bass :p

& I have been missing out on movies for such a long time already. Seriously to watch tons of them this year. 'Cause PLENTYYYYYYYY of good movies for 2010.

Yes. Haven't watch this yet. Sadly. & I'm dying to do so mannnnnn. Why? ANNE HATHAWAY & TAYLOR LAUTNER are in there!!!!!!!! =D Who wanna watch this with me???????

Gorgeous CHANNING TATUM!!!!!!!!! Have to catch this movie. He's soooooooooo talented!!!!!! & steaming HOTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!

Twisted movie. Tim Burton is talented, honestly. Seems like fairytales ain't perfect at all. Poor little kids. Haha. Lol. The Beautiful ANNE HATHAWAY is in it. & not forgetting, the FABULOUS JOHNNY DEPP!!!!!!!!!!! He's sooooooo a versatile actor. Love him!

Panic Attack.

2010-02-21T22:20:00.000-08:00

GREAT. Dad brought up the same topic again. Gosh. How I wish he would just stop talking about it. Kayyyyyy. It always starts when I talked to him about what grades / I pass / doing wayyyyy better in school now. In other words, I'm so glad that I go to poly now than suffer tremendously in jc.

& yeah. He will reply: "Good lah. Why have you not enter poly instead of jc since last time? Why now?"

Seriously. WHAT THE HECK. Is it a crime for somebody to change his or her course of study at a given period of time?

I expect him to be more supportive and happy that my studies are getting better. But, NOOOOOO. He's always dissatisfied with whatever I do. One thing that I know for sure, is that, I choose the media course. Which is to him, is a forbidden path.

Then again, I should be contented right? & that I set my own goals & ambitions, as well as, staying true to myself. & I should not let others decide what they think is good for my life?

Yeah, I think so.

Anyway, from now on, whenever Dad brings this topic up again, I gonna show him my results in his face. This will prove him that I'm doing well in school.

P.S. I'm a B grade student now, not a F grade student.

Projects part 2.

2010-02-21T17:40:00.000-08:00

Animation module had been great. Nevertheless, the process of drawing an assignment, OMFG, absolutely tedious & time - consuming. & yes, I'm honestly disappointed in all my assignments. I feel that more improvements can be made. Seriously.

& I truly know that my fullest potential had not been put in into all e assignments. Needless to say, me studying the test is just a waste of effort 'cause I still did not obtain a good grade for it. What the hell am I thinking? Playing a full all the time for this module. Oh mannnnn. If only I really work hard, the results will be different :(

Anyway, here's the video of my animation final project for my first year :)

K. Bye.

Projects.

2010-02-21T17:15:00.000-08:00

Okay. I promise myself that I'll upload all my works here. So yeah, here goes

First up, are the videos that I acted for my classmates' Location Production video projects:

(Sadly only links. But oh wells, better than nothing :D )

Okay. This first video is seriously my first time acting. Heh. The project is based on a silent genre kinda film. So yeah, my classmates came up with a horror film. Kudos to Carmen, Natalie, Rashyd & Amanda for this production :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0ujnb08x10

This second film is about this girl who is more concerned of her appearance than her studies. When she fails in an exam, she consulted with her teacher. But, her teacher can't be bothered with her, ya' know. & blah blah blah, from here, I'm pretty sure you know what any teenager will do to him or herself, right? The only difference is that, whether this film has a good ending, or, otherwise? You'll be the judge.

By the way, kudos to Carmen, Natalie, Beverley, Belle & Shaun for this production :)

For your info, all of us had the script halfway done by our lecturer. The ending is being planned and scripted by the students.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LNXZ0eAGIUA

Anyway, I have another video for the previous project as well. In other words, I helped out with two of my classmates' projects for the second assignment. But, I have yet to take the video from Rashyd. Been asking him 'bout it but I always forget to grab hold of it. Perhaps next time.

& yeah, I too have not taken the videos that my group produced for the two projects. Soon soon mannnnn & I will.

K. Bye.

Making A Comeback.

2010-02-21T16:40:00.000-08:00

Hey hey!!!!! Yes, I'm finally back to blogging. Sorry for being in a hiatus for such a long time. Yeah, school madness is officially over. Well, at least for my first year in poly.

Anyway, revamp my blog with a new style. Yup, colours. I should really add colours into my life right now. 'Cause it is a brand new year. Have no idea what actually makes me attracted to this blog skin. Nevertheless, I think this is cool. Heh.

Kayyyyy. Here are outdated pics, I would say, of us in Bangkok. Pardon for my CAN'T-TAKE-PROPER-PICTURES syndrome. What do you expect right when your flight is delayed for 8 long hours without you been given notice wayyyyyyy in advance.

Carmen, Beverley & Me
Close friends since FMS Induction Day. Hope we won't go our own
separate ways. 'Cause our bond is so strong :)

Unglam photos of me with the gorgeous Carmen.
Heheheheheh. Lol.

With Rashyd. So boring lad.
He has the same expression for all the photos 3 of us took.
Oh mannnnn.

Carmen told me she still have more photos of me. So, awaiting for them so badly. Haha. K. Bye.

HEY.

2010-01-16T20:45:00.000-08:00

WESTLIFE =)

2010-01-03T15:30:00.000-08:00

Hey ho!!!!! Guess what? Yeah!!!!!!! I'm still in loooooovvvvvvvvveeeeeeee with these guys.

Woohoo!!!!! The Irish lads from WESTLIFE!!!!!!!

Oh my god!!! It had been so many years, yet listening to their songs at this very day, woah!!!!!! AWESOMEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm glad that they are still going strong in the music industry. Their renditions of songs from other artistes are just so fantastic :)

I will always support this band no matter what. Alot of bands come and go in the music industry. However, I believe Westlife is a perfect example of a boyband that continue to strive for the better, despite their ups and downs.

All the way guysssssss!!!!!!!!!! :)

Wooooottttttt!!!!!!!! Especially loooooovvvvvvveeeeeee this guy!!!!! Mark Feehily. So what he's gay???????? His voice is soooooo just over the top. & when he sings, he blew my mind away and my heart just melts. Awwwwwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. I better start revising for Soc Psych common test. Oh mannnnnn.

CRAZY ON SEZAIRI.

2010-01-03T03:05:00.000-08:00

Yeah. The title's of this post says it all. & wondering why I'm still not asleep yet? Good question. Well, INSOMNIA. Actually, just ended recording my voice for the 2nd IS group project (finished at midnight by the way!)

Okay. The real reason for me not sleeping still - did a photoshop on Sezairi Sezali. Yes! I'm super & uberly into him right now. He's the kind of singer whose songs I normally will listen to. His voice has a mixture of Jason Mraz, James Morrison & Jon McLaughlin. & if he plays acoustic songs, OHMY! I will just go keraaaaaazeeeeeeeee over him!!!! Woohoo!!!!!!! Btw, I'm soooo lucky that my votes for him to win did not go to waste =)

K. Here's the design I made of Sezairi.

Unique. Talented. Cute. The kind of guy that I will go for. Heh.

I'm myself again.

2009-12-29T19:10:00.000-08:00

If I were to be granted ONE wish, my wish would be to DIE right now.

I wanna live in solitude forever & ever. Apparently, this wish has not been granted since a long time ago.

People can relate their life stories to others, either through sharing whatever's bothering them, or through the lyrics of songs. For me, I prefer expressing my emotions, thoughts & feelings through poems.

I'm myself again. What you see is what you get. I'm ain't faking my true self anymore. Please don't tell me to cheer up. 'Cause I can't anymore.

If others have resolution lists for the brand new year 2010, I have a death list.

P.S. I design this - the cover page for 3D Art's sketch pad. I wanna get in touch with my graphic design self once again. This area is what I'm most passionate for. & this is the are that I want to pursue & succeed in the future. I have my own plans for this area. Ask me if you wanna know what my plans are. If not, it's for me to know & for you to find out.

Watch out for this space for future's graphic designs by me.

I'M BACK. AGAIN.

2009-12-28T13:20:00.000-08:00

Hey hey!

The two weeks break had kicked in. Since 19th Dec. & it's ending pretty pretty soon.

Being busy with assignments, projects & studying for tests.

& speaking about tests, I had been flunking all the tests.

Really really hope that I will not flunk Soc Psych common test. Had done my notes but have not digest the 60 over pages into my head. All the best to me!

I hate group projects. Totally sucks!

Anyway, check e pictures of my 1st 3D Art assignment. It's called the sculpture-of-self-till-the-bust assignment. & our new teacher, Mike (he's extremely awesome!!!!!), gives our class a leeway of exaggerating some parts of ourselves. Hmmm. But as you can see, I exaggerate everything of myself. & oh yeah, pictures taken courtesy of Mike.

Now, I'm in the process of my 2nd 3D Art assignment. It's a 12-inch sculpture with an amateur for supporting. My class had chosen the 'God' theme. Hence, I made mine & called it Goddess of Rock. Pictures will be uploaded when it's done. I've drawn 6 pictures of my goddess. & have to create another mock-up of my sculpture. Apparently, I have not started. Will start soon but don't know when. Heh.

Also had been busy for Location Production. For the 2nd assignment, my class was separated to 3 groups of 5. We had a script, well, only the 1st part of the story created. Thus, we had to plan the rest. This project carried 60 marks! I have no idea what percentage it holds for our final grade.

Okay yeah. Anyway, the title of the production is "Failed." The video will be uploaded here after editing had been done. I was extremely happy that my group is so effective. But throughout the whole process of production, we were all like wanting to kill each other. I was the Sound Recordist by the way. & I think I had made a bad job out of it. Oh mannnnn!

But, I acted out in the other two group's production. I was the main character for their project. Indeed, both productions were challenging because I have the idea of how to act each scene out. But, my facial expressions & the way I speak my lines portray otherwise. I think I've let the rest down. But, they always say I did great. Oh wells! They had taken pictures of the whole process of productions. & plus the videos. Will upload all here when I've got hold of everything.

Below is the link of the first production I acted in. It was a silent movie with our own theme or genre. I helped out to act for my classmates' group.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0ujnb08x10

So, basically, I had 3 productions for my 3rd year's portfolio. Woohoo!

P.S. I've been on the downside lately. Thinking of being alone again. Living in solitude is the ideal place I wanna be right now. Or rather, kill myself.

back.

2009-11-15T19:05:00.000-08:00

Back after a very long period of hiatus.

School is extremely stressful, fast-pacing and chaotic this semester. What to do. Only 4 months of school & boom! 2 months of school holiday & then wa lah! Year 2.

Lecturers giving assignments & projects in my face every single day. & deadlines day after day. Non-stop! Practically everyone burning midnight oils this semester. Go figures! Next year will be definitely worse than this. Well, WELCOME TO THE MEDIA INDUSTRY.

Insomnia kicks my life pretty badly. Few hours of sleep each day doesn't help. Yet, I tried to be energetic during class times. & energetic means being totally crazy & hyperactive. Now, all my lecturers know my personality.

However, complains & more complains. But then, the modules this semester are all interesting. So, I don't mind all the madness that going on. & oh yeah, sleeping longer hours during weekends somehow don't really compensate for the whole week of not sleeping.

3D Art is really enjoyable. Mike (our lecturer) played music from his iTunes while we do our work. & he has really fabulous songs in there! All his songs are killing me! & he is a typical mat though he's Chinese. He speaks to me with that Malay slang & he played Mungkin Nanti by Peterpan. Guess what? I think it is just to irritate my nerves. 'Cause practically the whole day he laughed at me. Awesome, right? Whatever.

Currently, I'm having mental block. Yes, again & again. Had not done the essay outline for IS. Something about gender equality & such. But, to come out with own question? Go figures! Who could? I have to before next Monday 'cause need to write the essay in class. 30% of my entire grade mannnnnnnn!

On a lighter note, if I could, I really want to run away from home. I wished that by 25, I will have my own home. Living alone. In a huge house. Probably a 5-room flat, masionette or a bungalow. The interior design of the house will be decided by me. Peace & quiet. Away from the problems as well as people in my family.

So, I'm deciding if I should get a job. Considering my weakness is time management. & my timetable is totally not helping. Yet, I don't want to burden Dad. Every assignment & every project mean money. & lots of it. Oh mannnnnnnn.

Anyway, pictures of my self-sculpture, drawings & models of my 2nd assignment of 3D Art will be uploaded pretty soon.

Bye for now.

MENTAL BLOCK.

2009-11-01T21:30:00.000-08:00

What has got into me?

No inspirations for my Soc Psych & IS essays.

Great.

Just great.

This is exactly what I need from myself right now.

Why must these kind of things always happen when deadline's just around the corner?

Gosh.

Come on!!!!!!!!!

I can do this.

1ST DAY OF SCHOOL.

2009-10-19T19:50:00.000-07:00

Assignments just kick in & it's only the first day of the 2nd sem. Oh brother!!!

2 assignments for the IS module. Will be focusing on contemporary issues. Basically, current issues happening in the society right now. Kinda interesting I would say. 'Cause all students are urged to keep abreast of what's happening around us, as well as, researching for relevant sources to understand beyond the current news. Also, these useful & valuable researches can equip students with knowledge. Cool, huh?

Well, you hardly believe that I turned out to be this kind of person. But yeah, true. I'm starting to develop these skills along the way, thanks to learning New Product Development (NPD), during the Bangkok Immersion Programme. That module challenges each of us to think out of the box & the importance of self - learning. Oh wells, as the saying goes, or it's Singapore's education policy, TEACH LESS LEARN MORE.

Anyway, I have to find relevant books pertaining to these two issues : Human Trafficking & Women's Worth (a.k.a gender discrimination / equality).

Interesting topics. Not only that, I'm keen on researching for online articles too. From local & international contexts.

The 1st part of the assignment is based on the discussion board posted in the NP Portal. Have to do 2 posts : Personal & Comment on one of the module's mate. & have to print these out too. Both soft & hardcopy. Before the 5th week & submission of the hardcopy on the same week. Oh mannnnnn. On top of that, the 2nd part would be in - class essay writing. On week 6. Rough draft to be done by 5th week. & notes can be brought to class :) . Weightage for these assignments : 45%!!!!!!!!!! [ 15% for both posts & 30% for essay ] : (

Okayyyyy. Definitely need to start researching now. Probably will do it during the weekends this week. All of the research to be done before week 3. & with the help of Writ Comm (format & MLA Citation notes), this module will greatly assist me with the IS module. Thought that I could forgo Writ Comm. But nooooooooo. Luckily, I did not throw away my notes. Heh.

On a lighter note, for the IS module, for week 2 (which is next week) till week 4, class will start at 1pm, at LT 45. Meaning, DO NOT HAVE TO WAKE UP EARLY!!!! Woohoo!!!!!!!! But will end at 5pm, though. But, it does not matter. Will be having conferences based on the two topics. Cooooooool. On the contrary, from week 5 onwards, class will begin at 9am - 12pm {no more 8am class :) }. @ blk 72.

AND AND AND, Wednesday's classes begin at 2pm instead of 1pm!!!!! Wow!!!!! All my classes begin in the afternoon. Well, for Tuesdays, Wednesdays & Fridays. & Thursdays are the longest, 'cause of CCA day. Oh mannnnnnnnn.

Okayyyyyy. Cheerios!!!!!! Wanna chill. Hehe. Tomorrow class begins from 2pm - 6pm. Woohoo!!!!!!! :)

oh mannn.

2009-10-18T09:10:00.000-07:00

G R E A T ! ! !

Hardly sleep at all! Wow. Break record already. Guess Insomnia is kicking in for the worse.

Now, I'm extremely feel damn fatigue but just can't get some shut eye. Tonight definitely have to sleep early. Let say, 10pm? If not, I'll be zombified during the first day of school tomorrow. Oh wells, can definitely predict that tomorrow I'll be zoned out. No matter what happens. Due to the lack of sleep.

Anyway, just got the bursary recently. THREE MONTHS LATE!!! Will be using the money for school purposes. Totally need to get school supplies. Okay, I have to list the things down so that I won't be leaving anything out. Hardrive, mouse, blue & coloured pens, ruler, pencil case. & will totally pay back some of my classmates whose money I had borrowed during the Bangkok trip.

On a lighter note -

I WANT TO GO SHOPPING SOOOOO BADLY!!!!!

back.

2009-10-11T17:40:00.000-07:00

Okay. It's so good to be back. Like finally!!!!! What I mean is that, I've been MIA for months!!! Let's see, around 7 or 8 months now, probably? Hmmm, I think so. & yesterday was kinda a blast! Well, more or less. Feels so good to be around people whom I really can count on. I don't really regard this bunch of people, including the other HUGE bunch whose not with us yesterday, as true friends. No offence, seriously. But 'cause I have yet to gain the trust still from others. I know it has been a very long period of time for me to still deciding on this. Nevertheless, seriously, how much can one gains respect & trust from any other individual? Even though that individual is your bf/gf/mother/father or whoever/whatever? So what, right? & seriously, what is the real definition of trust & respect? I know the definitions can be found in dictionaries. But honestly, under real - life circumstances, how would one ever be able to measure the level of trust & respect to give and take? Go figures.

ANYWAY, I was out with the usual clique I'm always hanging out with back in the old days. Yup, NP bandmates. The planning, I think was rather impromptu. Needless to say, all of us hang out almost every single day. Like, fo example, when I was away for the study trip in Bangkok, the whole group seriously hang out every weekend. How cool was that? Totally eny them soooooooo much. They sure enjoy themslves lots. Not to say that I'm not enjoying myself when overseas, just that, my classmates are not the kind of people I would click very well outside curriculum time. No offence. But, my personality, perceptions & dress sense definitely don't match all of theirs.

Okay, whatever. As I was saying, the planning somehow turned out to be - a disaster. Well, initially. Metoh Low cancelled due to most of the people not having cash. Then, I got a call from Gary Chew, at midnight. I hanged up on him twice as it was an unknown number. He's seriously sound like a pervert. LOL. Then, when he called using his hp, he told me what really happen. & so yeah, I helped him a little bit by smsing some peeps to confirm the number of people turning up for the outing. Yesterday's morning arrived, & I was awakened by a message sent by Metoh. He's kinda upset & stuff. But, I managed to like, tell him what to do. That is, settling and decide with Chew about the outing.

& so yeah, the outing's ON!!!!! The plan was meeting at 5PM (dinner + movie at iluma). But, I met Chew at 2 plus (damn! He kept pushing the timing to meet earlier & earlier. haha.). We bought the tix - 8 altogether - to the movie (500) days of summer. & then off to arcade. So, Gary, being Gary, played Jubeat. Seriously, he should get a DIPLOMA IN JUBEAT instead of accountancy. Like his motto - JUBEAT FOR LIFE!!!! Oh god. Next, off to the streetfighter machine. It was one battle after another. Non - stop!!!!! I was so damn bored & getting sleepier while waiting for the rest to arrive. So, I cheered for "Gay" Chew to lose. Btw, he's not gay, seriously.

Kenneth Koh was the first one to arrive. So, off to TCC, as both of them wanna get a drink. I did not order anything in order to save up. Great decision made by me - FINALLY!!!!!! Chit - chat for awhile. Like, my Bangkok trip & guys being guys, of course, the ups & downs of NS life. After that, met up with Josh Metoh Low, Azri & Belinda. & off to arcade once again. Gosh. Seriously totally have to agree with the rest of them, iluma's arcade is the greatest of all. HUGE, MORE FUN, & DEFINITELY GREAT!!!!!! Then, it was Azri's turn to play. Sounds wrong, but, whatever! Anyway, he totally owned the tennis machine. One after another battle. Trumpeters, what do you expect!!!! Melicia & Si Hui joined us a while after. Waiting for Azri to finish his game is totally a miracle!!!!! The rest of us were cheering for him to lose. & my comment about Azri & Gay made everyone laughed - "When you guys die, I will definitely bury the arcade machines down together with you guys. Oh god!"

Had dinner @ Burger King. Looooooonnnnnnnngggggggg time since eating there. Joked & laughed sooooo hard. I've haven't been crazy this much before. & band people being bandits, talked about the upcoming concert & repertoire. All the songs they mentioned, I had played before.

Okay. (500) days of summer is a totally awesome movie. It's the kind of movie that makes the viewers think. & when I say think, it's definitely to think deep to really understand the meanings behind every saying. Well, it definitely can bore any individual to death. But, this movie is one of the kind, needless to say. More of a literature - based kinda movie, I would say. Full of lateral thinking to be made, rather than understanding the meanings too literally. & yeah, totally based on real - life experiences. The norms of human nature & the way of life. The best part is that, in the whole theatre, which is like sort of full house, only 8 of us laughed most of the time. Kinda weird, but, glad that we enjoyed the show. Worth showing :)

Then, off to the arcade once again. & we went to level 7. The rooftop had a great view. Talked, joked & laughed. On the way back, Metoh told me what's have been happening. I kinda have picture everything he told long time ago. Guess my predictions have come true. & yeah, Azri persuaded me to come back & play for the concert. Well, actually all of them did, abit here & there. But, sorry guys, I'm not going back. Definitely not. & yeah, like again, Metoh said that with & without me around, was definitely a difference. Just like what Rizuan had said to me. Wow.

I think, my presence really bring a difference to their lives. Maybe? I was the entertainer, crowd-pleaser in the good way, happy-go-lucky person to cheer everyone out when they are under pressured & stressful times. The mediator a.k.a peacemaker when individuals got into disagreements or can't get a decision right. A leader, advising people & telling others my views, when I should not even speak, as I don't have the authority to do so. Nevertheless, this bunch of people listened to me. Agree with me, under certain circumstances. & believe in me. Totally definitely awesome great people, aren't they? More outings in the future guys!!!!! Love all of you guys, regardless of those present yesterday or not!!!!!

eeeeewwwww.

2009-10-09T19:40:00.000-07:00

Oh my god!!!!!!!!

I'm feeling extremely tremendously absolutely totally disgusted and frustrated.

Okay. I have never tell anyone about this. Not even one. Okay okay. There's this guy, I guess 22 years old???? He's been liking me for more than a year or so, I think. Totally not my type. Why? Totally a typical matrep, that's why. & how possibly can anyone has feelings towards me???????? Hello, it's me for goodness sake!!!!!!!!!!

Anyway, I told him to forget about me already. Umpteen times!!!!!! &, I try every means and ways by finding excuses to avoid meeting him. So annoying mannnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!! & he addresses me as 'Sayang', 'Dear', 'Honey' & other sweet nothings. Like eeeeewwwwww!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah, I know.

Guys. Why can't they understand????? Oh my god. There are so many other pretty & sexy girls out there. Why can't he just like them & not me?????????? I sooooooooo hate this.

Arghhhhh. & he just smsed me. Like again & again. Non-stop!!!!!!!!!! I'm so lazy to reply to his messages. But I don't want to be deemed as rude. Feel like telling him off for good. But, he still sms me anyway. Oh my god!!!!!!!! How????????

timetable for 1st year 2nd sem.

2009-10-08T21:00:00.000-07:00

Here's my timetable for the coming school semester.

Basically, my moduels consist of the IS module (dunno what the 2 components are), Introduction to Computer Graphics, Social Psychology, Location Production, Animation Foundation & 3D Art.

Below is my weekly schedule.

Mondays (8am - 12pm)

Tuesdays (2pm - 6pm)

2PM - 3PM : Location Production

3PM - 6PM : Introduction to Computer Graphics

Wednesdays (1pm - 4pm)

1PM - 2PM : Animation Foundation

2PM - 4PM : Social Psychology

Thursdays (9am - 5pm)

9AM - 1PM : Location Production

2PM - 5PM : Animation Foundation

Fridays (12pm - 6pm)

12 PM - 2PM : Social Psychology

2PM - 6PM : 3D Art

Oh mannnnnn. What a hectic schedule, huh? Despite classes begin late in the afternoon (Tues, Wed & Fri), why must they end extremely late?????????? Oh my god. Definitely need to stock up on Pokka Milk Tea & Menthol Mentos for class everyday. Heh. & oh mannnnnn. Why must Thursdays always be the most longest day all the time????? Gosh. & Monday Blues have to begin from 8am onwards. All the best to me mannnnnn.

Will continue to work harder & more diligently for the upcoming semester. & aiming to obatin AD for the IS module & Social Psychology. & aiming for B or B+ for the rest of the modules. Gambate!!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

XOXO Gossip Girl :)

food.

2009-10-08T20:35:00.000-07:00

Had an absolutely scrumptious lunch thanks to Mum. Okay. That was my only meal today. & I ate at around 3.30pm. Sleep late thanks to insomnia kicking in once again, soon after I'm back home from Bangkok. Cool, isn't it? NOT. Now, my eyebags gonna get blacker & surely, worse. Even make - up would be unable to cover those stuff up, FOR SURE!!!!

Anyway, Mum cooked fried fish, fried bittergourd, fried egg & potato wedges for me. Yeah, I know. Everything is fried. But there's vegetables - bittergourd!!!! & yeah, I know. That is definitely damn bitter. But hey, my meal is well - balanced, I guess. 'Cause there's vegetables. Woohoo!!!!!

The bad point is that, I've been indulging in junk food. Tidbits and chocolates. LOTTTTTSSSSS of chocs. Every single day. Oh my god. Totally need to cut down on that. & been drinking ice cream soda!!!!!! Oh my god. That is so not me. Need to start drinking plain water from now on.

Dad had been complaining about his haneia (have no idea how to spell the disease) had come back. He had been feeling awful pains from his stomach, since yesterday. This has been scaring me alot. I'm putting a strong front, forcing myself to not break down in front of him. & today he complains that he gonna be sick sooner or later. I told him to have a check - up whenever he is free. As usual, he is damn stubborn. I know. Money. & he definitely needs to undergo an operation once again. & definitely he's concerned of not providing enough for the family. I really want to do something. But I can't work 'cause I'm not allow to. Dad wants me to finish up my studies. Oh mannnnnnnn. & he's been talking about death. ONCE AGAIN. I really do not want anything worse to happen, given that the current situation is far from being fine, anyway.

today.

2009-10-06T18:50:00.000-07:00

FINALLY I've indulge in the awesomest POKKA MILK TEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My 2nd favourite drink of the century. Well, POKKA GREEN TEA being the first.

Oh my god. Miss the drink sooooooooooooooooo much!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The closest drink to milk tea would be Thai Iced Tea. For 6 weeks ALMOST every single day!!!!!!!!!! & oh my god. Thailand has the most delicious iced tea ever!!!!!!!!!! But still, oh wells, pokka milk tea is still the best, nevertheless.

Will spend my money on that drink everyday. Last sem, I bought all the time in school (before, during breaks & after). Never ever gonna be sick & tired of that drink. Hmmmm. Hilarious, isn't it? People got hooked soooooooooooo badly on caffeine, while I'm seriously MAJORLY addicted to......tea leaves??????????????? Go figures.

Speaking of money, I've to save up so that I can pay back the money I borrowed from my classmates. Estimated amount - around 300 - 400 bucks. ALTOGETHER that is. Good luck for me to gather up that sum of cash. By all means, bring food from home to school everyday. I don't mind, that is, to exclude my spendings on school stuff and shopping for more clothes, accessories and footwear.

I bought a new notebook for school this coming 2nd sem (19th oct). I think I should write my notes down on paper rather than typing. So not used to recording stuff via electronic means. & yeah, I have to jot down my assignments on paper too. Remembering and memorising schedules and some other stuff are really and perhaps, already, caused damage to my brain cells last sem.

Oh gosh. I should spend my money first for school stuff. There are still so many things that I have to buy before the start of school. Okay. List of the school stuff I absolutely need : -

1) Blue pens (2)

2) Coloured pens

3) Huge pencil case

4) Ruler (why am I always losing this item?????)

5) Hard-drive (gotta feeling my laptop's crashing pretty pretty soon; considering the fact that I dropped it 4 TIMES in the 1st sem...OH MY GOD!!!!!!!)

& oh yeah..About shopping for clothes, accessories, etc. I so need money for all these. Sooooooooo badly. Seriously. I bought new clothes for the upcoming school semester. Yeah, for sure. But, how long can I ever last for the mix - matching occassion????? One week???? Two???? Till I graduate???? I sooooooooooo need to revamp on my style already. Okay. Here's the list for the items I need to buy to upgrade my style : -

1) Tops (dresses, v-neck, turtle-neck, long tops, collared t-shirts & shirts)

2) Footwear (sneakers, high-heels, zipped-up heel sandals)

3) Accessories (bracelets, wristbands, necklaces, jackets[leather, denim], cardigans[grey + white] )

4) Huge side bag (the one at Fourskin preferably)

5) Cosmetics (lip-gloss, nail polish, nail polish remover)

Okay. Wow. Totally lotttttttsssssssss of money needed for this particular department. Probably end of the year I would have enough to get some new stuff for my wardrobe.

& one more thing, I realise that I'm rambling again. Due to long post I'm publishing now. LOL. & yeah, I beginning to see that my writing style becoming too Gossip Girl-ish. Wow. That tv series really has influenced me. & I DEFINITELY NEED TO DOWNLOAD ITS 3RD SEASON!!!!!!!!! Oh my god. 3 more episodes and I'm done with the 2nd. & by then, I'm stuck with doing nothing while waiting for school to begin. Oh mannnnnnnnnnnnn.

I'm starting to hate school. 'Cause my class will not be the same ever again, with all the bickerings and differences that every single one of us can't bare to put aside for the benefits of others. Myself, included. I think I'm gonna be the lonely girl again. The individual whom prefers to be alone & shut herself from others' businesses. Simply because, it is important for her to survive without intefering in people's relationships, which could hinder her from succeeding. Hmmmmm. Wow. Lonely girl. Just like the lonely boy from GG, Dan Humphrey. & yeah, have to interact in order to make new friends. For the IS class. Why can't I just be alone? Well, simple - in life, you are never alone. Sucks!!!!!!!!

Check my timetable for the coming sem. Only the IS module is up. My Monday Blues will kicked in from 8am-12pm. With IS module. How cool is that??????

I hope that I can obtain an A grade for this module. This kind of modules sure easy-breezy to ace. If alot of effort and hardwork is put in. & yeah, hope that the Social Psychology module would be easy to ace too. What I know is that, I'm sure my writing skills would be different as compared to the past 18 years.

All the best to me!!!!!!

back to where it all started.

2009-10-04T21:35:00.000-07:00

Great. Just when I thought that everything has changed and things would get better. Regardless of whatever it is. I thought perfection would already kicked in while I'm still away. NOT.

Need a major time out from the whole wide world. Like seriously.

I cried today. Almost the whole day. Why? Because I'm practically back to where it all begins.

DAD seems extremely troubled ever since I've been away.

GRANDMA'S attitude getting out of hand.

MUM is being more & more childish as the day goes by.

& HE, well, go figures.Just wish he could be more of a human being.

I have no idea why life has to be like this for me. Been away takes my mind away from all these. The responsibility & the one who's have to take 'bout everything. Do this, do that. Why me?????

What's so good 'bout me??????? I'm tired of being so matured. I want to be 19 again. To get the feeling of how to be a 19-year-old teen. For once.

My life's totally a screw - up.

The worst has yet to come. I predict much extreme situations will be waiting for me in the future.

I definitely have lost all the trust I hold on to towards people. ALL. Somehow the messages, words & actions taken by people towards me, the ones who sincerely care 'bout me, totally seem fake right now. Great, isn't it?????? Can life simply ever gets more better for me now?????????????????

Gossip Girl.

2009-10-04T13:55:00.000-07:00

Great show with gorgeously - looking hunks and babes.

This is Daniel Humphrey a.k.a Dan.

He is my favourite male character in Gossip Girl.

Okay. Yeah I know.

He's only average - looking.

But I don't prefer guys that are extremely handsome &

one whom girls always chasing after.

Dan (real name - Penn Badgley) is an intelligent, well - mannered

& sensitive lad.

Sweet, isn't it?

He's a good writer too.

Woot!!!!!!!!

Next, Charles Bass a.k.a Chuck.

Initially, I hate him to the core.

Mainly because of the Victorian style he's portraying in the show.

& 'cause he's a casanova, sex - minded jerk.

But in the second series, he portrays more of his sensitive side.

So charming.

That's when I change my views 'bout his character.

Lol.

Chuck (real name - Ed Westwick) is damn charming.

There's just some things 'bout him that makes me attracted to.

Perhaps, it's the bad boy attitude.

I love his eyes!!!!!!

This is Nathaniel Archibald a.k.a Nate.

Too perfect.

Too good - looking.

Not the kind of guy I'm really will go for.

Nate (real name - Chace Crawford) is a playboy in the show.

Average grade student.

Nevertheless, he does have a kind heart.

& put them together : -

Aren't all 3 gorgeous?

The main characters in the show.

Nate, Serena (Blake Lively), Blair (Leighton Meester),

Chuck, Jenny (Taylor Momsen) & Dan.

Wanna download its 3rd season!!!

TV shows.

2009-10-04T12:20:00.000-07:00

Currently watching Gossip Girl season 2.

Got the download from classmate.

Hooked on the show.

Hope to download more tv shows -

* One Tree Hill season 1 - 6

* The O.C. season 1 - 4

* Beverly Hills 90210 season 1 -10

* 90210 season 1 -2

* The Mentalist season 1 - 2

Anyone can help me download them, please???????

'Cause I totally have no idea how to.

finally home.

2009-10-04T12:10:00.000-07:00

It's good to be finally back home.

I think.

Perhaps though.

Thought things have change for the better at home while I was away.

As usual, I was dead damn wrong about all my assumptions that had been made.

Maybe hoping is never enough.

Things actually are practically almost the same around here.

Okay.

Who am I to kid?

Things actually got worse.

I feel like I'm the adult.

I grow up too fast already.

Hate it.

Always have this perception since I was growing up.

Gosh.

I do not have jet lag.

Seriously nothing.

From SG to Bangkok, & from Bangkok to SG, I don't feel any difference at all.

As if I've been going overseas all my life.

I do not miss Bangkok at all now.

Strange, isn't it?

Miss my clique sooooooooooo much.

Gonna have an outing pretty pretty soon.

Woohoo!!!!!!!

Gonna be great fun!!!!!!

Actually they asked me to go out today.

But what the hell?????

I'm still dead tired.

Delayed flight & back home at 1.30AM?????

Possibly have no energy left inside me to do anything.

Except for eating alot thanks to Mum & Aunt.

Whatever it is.

I gonna be withdrawn from now onwards.

I will definitely benefit for being this way.

ILY.

2009-09-24T01:54:00.000-07:00

i hope not.

2ND Draft for UNIFEM Writing Contest.

2009-09-19T15:35:00.000-07:00

My 2nd Draft for the UNIFEM Writing Contest. Deadline's 23RD SEPT!!!!! Oh mannnnn. Still not the perfect piece for submission.

Another Land, Another Life

by Nor Suryati Bte Adnan

Ngee Ann Polytechnic

Memories.

Some are worth remembering --

Yet--

Not the past I had with Grandpa.

That close bond we once shared.

Nothing can ever change the fact that Grandpa is gone.

Now the room drowns only in darkness and our grief over his loss.

The day when I finally am able to overcome my grief,

I glanced at Grandpa’s bedroom door.

Somehow it beckons me tremendously to look what embeds inside.

My heart aches so much that I dragged both my feet towards the reddish – brown door.

Everything inside was so proper that one fall can leads to its fragility.

A photo frame stood firmly at the side table near Grandpa’s bed.

As a picture speaks a thousand of words,

White pearls started trickling down my cheeks as I recalled Grandpa’s story --

The story told the night before he took his last breath.

“ Let me tell you a story, my boy, ” he beamed as best he could.

“ I was a soldier.

A private in the Malay Regiment.

Fighting for the good of our country in the Second World War. ”

As I looked at Grandpa, I could see his frail eyes glittering.

As if every bits and pieces of the war could he remembered.

“ I count myself lucky to be alive, ” said he. “ For the rest --

They are longed gone and to be forgotten now and forever. ”

“ I was just like any other man, woman and child.

Arriving in small boats to a place we all deemed for a brighter future.

I was eighteen then, your age, my boy.

Without the guidance of my parents, as they were both gone,

Even before I could learn how to walk --

I struggled to survive, till where I am now at present.”

“ Boy, ” He reached for my left hand for his wrinkled hand to hold onto mine.

“ I was scared, to leave my hometown with aimless goals.

No one to turn to and nowhere to go.

Unsure if migration to a place called Singapore would ever turn my life around.”

“ Closer as my boat was reaching the immigration checkpoint, my heart feels lighter.

Away from all the doubts and fears I had before during the journey.

Many of us did not survive – my newfound friend Ah Seng included.

For the rest of us remaining, hundreds, if I remembered correctly,

Had the same thing in our minds – hope. ”

“ Three months after setting foot in Singapore,

I joined the Malay Regiment army.

Determined to learn the principles of independence and discipline,

I am proud to be able to protect my new home under any
circumstances. ”

“ Shortly after war strikes.

With not much experience, I vowed to fight for the nation,

Sharing the same spirit alongside my fellow platoon mates and seniors.

I am naive to what exactly the meaning of war is.

But --

I am clear that it is definitely not a good thing. ”

Grandpa’s hand suddenly trembles uncontrollably.

He clutched my hand so tight, yet I said nothing.

“ The war was a massive massacre, ” his voice shaken with fear.

Millions died right before my eyes – innocent men, women, children.

Many men in the Regiment sacrificed their lives against the enemies.

My fellow brothers fought bravely, but, making me more vulnerable in turn. ”

“ Flashbacks start to run in my mind, admist all the chaos.

The fear for the safety of my family --

The thoughts of your Grandma, your Dad, Uncle Sam and Aunt Mia,

Leaves me even more susceptible to continue fighting.

Yet --

Having my role model by my side, Leftenan Adnan,

The strength that he showed me and a life lesson taught make me stronger --

Fight till death for your own country. ”

“ His heroism leads to his death.

He lies still on the ground in front of my eyes.

Before long, the war ended.

Seeing scores of figures covered with thick red blood all around me

Makes me blaming only myself,

For not fighting hard enough, for as most of them will still be alive now. ”

“ Can it ever get darker sooner or later? ” Grandpa slightly turned to the window, winced up at the half moon.

Night has fallen and I thought the day is just beginning,

I think I better get a little rest now, for tomorrow will be ……… ”

And, as painfully as it could be, I watched my idol passed on, from all the pain he had endured from his past.

The journey now has grown to its end.

The path that I had taken has leads to where I want to be --

Well, at least, somehow.

Putting back the photograph firmly to its original setting teaches me to let go of something that I reluctantly refused initially.

Recalling the story that was told was as painful as watching my role model die right before my eyes.

My heart aches as I let go of the past, in that room itself.

As I closed the door behind me, and never to open it ever again, something struck me.

The life lessons Grandpa held on to teaches me even more than that --

The contributions and sacrifices our forefathers had made for the better of this country,

Singapore, my homeland, this is where my heart belongs,

Are such aspirations to my life.

But most importantly --

Singapore, my homeland, it seems, even to me,

Is still a choice that I have to face.

To choose if home is going to be

Another land or another life --

Is definitely a whole different story that I have to unfold

To know exactly what the future holds for me.

YR 1 FIRST SEM EXAM RESULTS.

2009-09-19T15:25:00.000-07:00

EMO.

2009-09-12T01:50:00.000-07:00

I have never felt this way before. It had been a pretty long time since I felt this. I am definitely feeling the pressure & of course stress piling up. Out of a sudden, surprising isn't it? Well, not for me. I know what's certainly bothering me. But, somehow, I do not know how to put them into words. Only I know & no one knows the reason why.

Perhaps I'm pushing myself too much already. I think my limits have been pushed to the maximum. My patience, tolerance, emotions, capabilities, intelligence (if I ever had any), strengths & optimism are getting out of control. Here I'm blogging about this post, my head's spinning. Pretty bad, to be honest. But, I think now I'm having migraine.

The design industry is absolutely a competitive world. & all individuals involve in this world are vowing, dying & yearning to strive to the top. Manipulations, lies, betrayals & licking the people of the higher hierarchy are what all of us do to be the best. Nevertheless, the design industry requires individuals who turn out to be the best out of the best.

Maybe, this is how I feel currently that leads me to be in this situation. I feel intimidated to be in this course, needless to say, to be in this class of unique, creative, innovative, determined & hardworking group of individuals. All of them are so talented that they can do, adapt & understand whatever that are being taught. Also, they can easily apply every concept & theory. Unlike me. Okay, this is my own personal opinions. Anyone that feel the other way round, I'm sorry, but I'm not asking for sympathy. Not at all. Not even a bit.

What I want now are answers. Why should I think & feel this way? What is it is lacking in me that makes me feel like I'm the most vulnerable one in the class. I always wanted to be different. The outstanding one. The one who stands out apart from the rest of the crowd. But, why am I freaking out now? Why am I running away? Away from all my problems & what I'm supposed to face at the moment. The reality, to be exact. Why? Why? Why?

I know that I have the ability to strive successfully. To obtain better grades & do the best in everything. I know that by speaking out my opinions, thoughts, ideas & suggestions, others will certainly listen. I know my ideas & opinions all make sense. Okay, now I'm certainly feeling like a total bitch, pain in the ass & a narcissist. What's the hell of self - praising myself, right?

Even so, I always think what I have to offer is never good enough. Ever. I always feel nervous to speak what's on my mind. What if others think that I'm trying to be a smart aleck. The know - it - all. The goody - too - shoes. Whatever you call it. I do not want to be labeled as any of these. I do not want to be called with various nicknames. People making fun of you, looking down on you, criticising you, throwing sarcasms straight into your face & doubting your own abilities. Sucks to be in that position. But then again, why do I always feel that I'm never good enough in everything I do?

Absolutely demoralising. It seems that all the high hopes & expections I had pinned on myself are seen as useless & meaningless once again. I'm totally back to square one. Back to be the weakest link. All that I had viewed as a brighter future ahead of me, a new opportuniy, a second & final chance for me to prove to myself, are beginning to come crashing down on me slowly.

I'm scared. I'm always been living in the dark. In the shadows of others. I have been living in fear all my life. All my nineteen years of living. & still counting. I'm always afraid of what others think of me & the opinions of others always make me weak. I'm full of imperfections. Anything, like even the slightest mistake I make, can break me down. When will I ever succumb to my senses? That what others think & making judgments about me do not matter at all. When will I ever have that enough self - confidence & courage to show what I am capable of doing in order to succeed in this design industry? When will I ever stop looking down on myself? That I rule my own life, future, destiny. No one else. & no point satisfying others when mine is not even fulfilled.

I have to break free. I have to stop thinking too much, but totally stop thinking. I have to be optimistic, encourage & motivate myself. I know I can do well. I know that I'm creative. I know that I'm full of ideas. I just have to believe in myself. No one else can do it for me, if it is not me whom not making a difference in myself. If it is not me whom taking the very first step into changing myself to be a better person. Change. So near yet so far from achieveing that.

Life is a journey. It was & never is complicated. It is us, human beings, who make our own life as complicated as it may be. Why? I have to look for the answers to all these questions & doubts that I have. I know the problem is myself & the blame should not be placed in others or anything else. Let bygones be bygones. So, why am I not letting go of my past? All the bad memories. I should eradicate all the times I shared with the people whom I once regard as friends. But, why it is so hard to do so? Are they the ones stopping me from moving forward?

The very first step to move on starts with this blog. Making it public should the decision that I would definitely take. But, once again, what others think, their opinions & for them to talk about every single thing that I wrote in this blog as gossips, scare me the most.

Should I or should I not?

My problems to why I'm feeling emo out of a sudden are not just simply these reasons. There are even more.

1ST DRAFT FOR UNIFEM WRITING CONTEST.

2009-09-11T10:50:00.000-07:00

Here's my 1st draft for the UNIFEM Writing Contest. & my teacher's comments.

Ideas are welcomed & really much appreciated.

Another Land, Another Life

by Nor Suryati Bte Adnan

Ngee Ann Polytechnic

Singapore is my homeland.
A true Singaporean is who I am.
I could never ask for more,
As this country has opened so many doors of opportunities
For me to strive for.

A wonderful city --
Full of life, vibrancy and colours.
But, things will never be the way they are at present,
Without the hard work, determination and perseverance
That our forefathers have put in for a brighter future for our generations.

Our forefathers set foot in Singapore years ago,
Hoping for a better life for themselves as well as for their families.
Away from what they experienced in own homeland;
War, poverty and hardship –
What can they ever ask for from this small island of hope?

Individuals from all walks of life.
Malay, Chinese, Indian and Eurasian --
Different races, religions and languages spoken;
Problems soon arise,
In which hope for a better life seems too good to be true.

Adaptation was never easy.
Especially when one was only a stranger to the whole new surroundings.
Mutual understanding between the locals and our forefathers was hard to forge.
There were so many barriers to break,
Which was difficult to come by.

Communication is indeed a great struggle for everyone,
When language is concerned.
Segregation caused relationships with one another to be strained.
More problems soon arose,
Which was a great deal for our forefathers to handle.

Life in Singapore was not easy,
Since the arrival of immigrants and foreign expatriates.
Crimes became more rampant,
Living conditions worsened due to overcrowding
And poverty and illnesses continued to exist.

The wall of segregation soon broke down.
With Singapore undergoing changes, stability and modernisation,
Over the years, the outsiders were finally accepted as our own people.
The contributions our forefathers had sacrificed too were acknowledged.
Singapore now stands tall with its nation merged as one.

With the contributions made by the immigrants, as well as locals,
In the forty-four years of Singapore’s independence,
This tiny dot has become competitive for other countries to be aware of.
With businesses flourished and prosperity in all of the various industries,
Singapore has indeed brought a better life to all.
The acceptance of foreigners and expatriates comes with a great price.
With much assurance and trust to be gained by the locals,
Both sides slowly learn the benefits of understanding and forging friendships.
The hard work of our forefathers has finally paid off
As their contributions are highly appreciated by the current generation.

Language is never a problem now in Singapore
As English is the language understood by all.
Despite the differences in race, religion and cultural backgrounds,
United we stand, divided we fall;
Singaporeans come together as one nation under any circumstances --
Be it going through the good or the bad times,
It has never been an issue or burden for anyone to bear.

Singapore, my homeland, it seems, even to me,
Is still a choice that I have to face.
The contributions made by our ancestors inspire me in every way,
And the choice foreigners make to regard Singapore as their home is endless.
Yet --
To choose if home is going to be
Another land or another life --
Is a whole different story for each of us to tell.

Suryati,

I like the concept of this piece of poetry but I think it’s too broad.

Basically, I think that you’re trying to cover too much ground in one short

piece. What I think this piece would benefit from is particularity.

Particularity means picking one area and concentrating on it (eg, it’s not a

story about a war, it’s a story about a soldier in a war – and is equally

compelling.) I would like you to try and re-draft this poem

but take the point-of-view of a migrant to Singapore in

the early years. Get into their head of what it was like, what they

were doing, why they were migrating, what they saw and

how they felt. And try to have your piece take place in one moment.

For example, you could write a piece from the point-of-view of a

Chinese coolie who has just stepped off the boat from China and is

queuing up at the immigration desk by the docks. As the queue snakes

nearer and nearer to the immigration officer, to him, it’s moving closer

and closer to a better life for him and his family back home. And it’s

interesting to see what a person at that point in time, is thinking

and feeling. And to this, you can add your own views of what

the work from his hands will become – eventually, this is one of

the people who will build Singapore to what it is today. And the

whole piece takes place from the time he gets off the boat, all

the way through the queue, to the time the immigration officer

breaks his thoughts by asking him for his name. I feel that if

you do this, the theme of the writing will still be the same

as your original piece – but I think this will give the piece more

particularity and with that, its own individual voice. It’s a really

good first attempt and I’m sorry my comments had to come so

late but no worries, deadline’s 23rd Sept so we still have time to

work and re-work - I’m really looking forward to reading the next

incarnation of the piece. Good work – it’s a good first attempt ☺

Leslie

Bangkok Part 8.

2009-09-10T09:30:00.000-07:00

Week 3 Day 3.

Had post - production.

All of us spent the whole 3 hours attempting to download the software.

But failed to do so.

We also had a quiz.

Hope I pass.

So yeah.

Class was pretty much like this.

Everyone started to facebooking, blogging & some other stuff.

Then, off to Tesco for break fast after putting our stuff back in the hotel.

Me, David, Rashyd & Hakim.

Ate at Chester's Grill.

Actually, nothing much happened that day.

Heh.

Week 3 Day 4.

Met the rest at the lobby around 9.45AM (Bangkok's time).

Gonna visit the media companies, so everyone were dressed presentably.

Including me too.

Uploading of pics soon kay.

We went to TCDC (Thailand Creative & Design Center) first.

Oh mannnnnnn.

The place is sooooooo great!!!!!!!

Especially the library.

From the magazines, to the books, to the displays!!!!!

I'm proud to say that luckily I'm in this industry.

My heart, soul & passion is for design.

After that, we went to the exhibition.

It's called the supermarket of ideas.

Showcasing the works of 150 designers in Thailand.

Coooooooooool.

We were allowed to look around at the displays though the exhibition was not open yet.

I took namecards of the graphics design companies.

& wow.

The designs & products from these companies are woah.

Niceeeeeeee.

& I also took namecard of some photography companies.

They gonna have a sale at TCDC (which is located at Emporium Suites).

On 19 & 20 Sept.

The class are yearning to be there mannnnnnnnn.

Maybe I would be able to buy some stuff there.

Perhaps t - shirts & some products?

Then I can buy souvenirs back.

Heh.

After lunch, we are off to Kantana Company.

We were toured around to see the various sectors in the filming industry.

You know - animation, sound, storyboard units etc.

Yeah.

Pretty interesting!!!!!!!!!!!

Able to really realise how the behind the scenes work.

Totally different from the front scene.

Like duh siaaaaaa.

I'm definitely attracted to the storyboard unit.

I don't know.

I love drawing and creating stories.

Can't wait to do this in my course.

Then, we see how rolls of films were processed into what we all see in cinemas today.

This was where my mind just went drifting away.

So much info to digest.

& the whole production was soooooooo damn tedious.

The young generation definitely is fortunate.

To have all the available machines to produce movies & stuff.

We should all be thankful mannnnn.

If we are not that advanced, I guess we will just die to process one movie.

Well, I would.

The design world is damn demanding & competitive.

No doubt about it.

I'm definitely sure that everyone would die to be in this industry.

Oh mannnnnnnn.

Everyone is so talented, creative & definitely full of ideas.

I'm kinda intimidated.

'Cause I don't think I have that much of the capability to be that good.

Okay.

I don't even know my own strengths mannnnn.

But, oh well, I just have to do my best in everything right now.

Stress should not bring me down.

Ever again.

'Cause it's the only thing that I'm concerned about.

Stress will just hinder me to produce the best quality of work.

Jiayou!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S. to cuzzie Samiyah :

I've received comments from my teacher about my 'poem' writing. Relatively good comments. Like great first attempt & stuff. But, he expects alot more from me. 'Cause the contents are pretty general. I totally have no idea how to improve my writing. Need to focus on one area of the essay & progress from there. & need to be in somebody's shoes e.g. a Chinese coolie, etc. Haha. Lol. I'm totally mental block. Help me?

My blog's tagboard screwed up. Reply in my fb's wall. : )

Miss you!!!!!!!!

Bangkok Part 7.

2009-09-07T23:45:00.000-07:00

Week 2 Day 7.

Met the rest at the lobby at 7.30AM (Bangkok's time).

Yeah, oh my god, so early in the morning!!!!!!!!

Had two activities lined up for us - Bamboo Rafting & Elephant Ride.

Seriously, I'm not a huge fan for these activities.

Simply 'cause I'm have phobia of water & heights.

Anyway, listened to iPod in the van.

Been a long time since I really listen to music in the iPod.

Did bamboo rafting first.

Managed to conquer my fear of water.

Did not feel sea - sick at all too.

Cool, isn't it?

Okay, for me at least.

David & Rashyd got a chance to row the raft.

Disaster at first but we are safe till the end.

The group split into two.

Then, off to Elephant Ride.

Rode the elephant with Nat.

Had no problem while riding the elephant, though of the fear of heights.

Except for the roller - caster ride the elephant bring us around.

& of course the getting on & off the elephant.

Glad that I'm did not face major difficulties with the two activities.

After that, we had buffet lunch.

The malays did not fast that day.

Yeah, paying back after fasting month.

The food was nice & delicious.

Duh, it's free.

Then, we called it a day.

The journey back to the hotel took ages.

All of us slept in the bus.

Oh yeah, had a photograph each for the Elephant Ride, as souvenir & memory.

Cooooool.

Saw Emo Elephant.

So cute but no pics taken of it.

My favourite of all the elephants.

Week 3 Day 1.

Met the rest at the lobby at 8.25AM (Bangkok's time).

Gift & Nara (tour guides / translators / new friends found) were there too.

Our agenda of the day was to visit a handicapped home catering the needs of the children.

& we were supposed to plant trees.

Something screwed up.

Yeah, so the whole programme was a disaster, in short.

We only like interact & gave out the food stuff we brought for the children.

& fed them.

That's all.

Sucks, isn't it?

I guess all of us looking forward to plant trees.

Then, off to Kret Island for lunch.

Yeah, did not fast again.

Well,I had my own girl reason.

The class get to know more of Nara & Gift.

Cooooooooool.

After lunch, we went shopping at the island.

Nothing much.

Just like look around.

But bought drink only.

25 baht only.

Drink in a pottery - shaped - cartoon character cup.

I bought Winnie the Pooh.

The drink was Thai tea (similar to Teh Tarik).

Niceeeeeeeeeeee.

Gift showed the girls the pics of her exes.

Oh mannnnnnnn.

Gorgeous!!!!!!!!!!!!

She so lucky.

They looked like Koreans.

& we talked about guys, love & relationships.

Well, when girls get together, that's what they normally talk about.

Nara too showed the pic of her bf.

Not bad.

Haha.

Lol.

Oh yeah, I screamed the whole day 'cause dogs were all around Bangkok & everywhere in Thailand.

I jerked & yeah, scared the rest off too.

Especially Gift.

Lol.

& we took the boat to & for to Kret Island.

My cap almost dropped into the sea.

Twice.

Luckily Gift was there.

Lol.

She's like my sister already.

Haha.

At night, ate at A&W with Rashyd, Hakim, Jet & Lee Ming.

Ate alot.

Oh mannnnnnn.

Then, went to Suan Lum Night Bazaar.

Looked around only.

There's stuff that I'm interested to buy.

But gonna wait for the last two weeks or so to buy all.

Save money mannnnnnn.

Gonna come back to the night bazaar & gonna go to Chatuchak.

For shopping!!!!!!!!!!!

One class together.

Cooooooooooool.

& bitch about some people at late night.

One small group talking crap till 3 plus (Bangkok's time).

Week 3 Day 2.

Leisure day.

Slept till 12PM (Bangkok's time).

Watched teevee & wrote notes for NPD.

Then, all except Jet & David went to Ong Nut for shopping.

Quite expensive & hard to bargain.

Not really interested in buying the stuff there.

'Cause all are like small sizes.

Demoralising mannnnnnnn.

Then, ate at McDonalds.

Oh mannnnnnnn.

Fast food everyday.

Things I bought so far when during shopping -

Vest

Tops

Skirt

Shades

Sundress

Wristband

Planning to buy more shirts, tops, girl clothes & footwear, before heading back to SG.

Need to change my style of dressing.

The girls are willing to help me with it.

My hair.

Have no idea how.

DVFX T1A1 '09 Girls.

Natalie's 17th Birthday Celebration.

Me & Carmen outside FamilyMart.
At night.
Raining.
So hip - hoppish lahhhh.

Camwhore in class.

This is what happens when we are bored in class.

Bangkok Part 6.

2009-09-03T12:15:00.000-07:00

Week 2 Day 3.

Had Post - Production.

Watched each other's rough cut of the video - editing assignment.

Got good & bad comments for room for improvements in the assignment.

Had a little bit of lecture too.

Yeah, that was probably how the class went on last Tuesday.

Short & well, not really sweet though.

Went to Carrefour with Rasyhd, Hakim & David after class.

Bought chocolate pie from McDonalds.

Oh mannnnnnnn.

Wish Singapore has this.

The chocolate filling is damn generous.

Definitely better than apple pie, hands down.

Cooked instant noodle.

With two eggs & put two cheese on top of the finishing dish.

Break fast at David's place.

The instant noodle is exactly how I cooked it when in Singapore.

Oh mannnnnn.

Craving for Singapore food.

Chilled at David's place till around 1 plus or so? (Singapore's time).

Okay. Our class's favourite hobby - camwhore.

All my unglam photos siaaaa.

See what happens when I refuse to take pics properly.

Week 2 Day 4.

Leisure time.

The day that I'm waiting for.

Well, for everyone actually.

Me & Nat slept in till around 1 plus (Bangkok's time).

After washing up, I watched teevee.

After that, did the video - editing assignment.

Have to include the title & music too.

For Thursday's class (which is like today).

Stayed in the room & break fast.

Had bread & strawberry cookies.

& watched Pirates of the Carribean on teevee.

Went to Hakim & Rashyd's room for help on the music part for the assignment.

Finished the assignment at David's place after that.

I find it horrible though.

Oh mannnnnnnnn.

Everyone gonna show each other our work again during today's class.

All of us is unique in every way.

I'm sure today will be an enjoyable & fun class.

'Cause everyone's music is so hilarious in one way or another.

The whole was at David's place at night.

Forever class gathering, no matter whether in school or outside curriculum time.

Celebrated Nat's 17th birthday at the strike of midnight.

More or less that is.

Followed Rashyd, Hakim, David & Jet to FamilyMart (Singapore's 7 - 11) afterwards.

Came back to the same place at 2AM, except for Jet.

Bought instant noodle & sausages.

Slept at 4AM (Bangkok's time).

Week 2 Day 5.

HAPPY 17TH BIRTHDAY NATALIE!!!!!

Anyway, having class later.

Still sleepy siaaaaaa.

Rawrrrrrrrrrr.

Will update again when I feel like it.

Bye bye.

P.S. I can't see my tagboard when using Mozilla. Macbook's system totally problematic. Oh mannnn.

Bangkok Part 5.

2009-08-31T17:15:00.000-07:00

Day 7.

The whole class met Mr Marc at the lobby at 10AM (Bangkok's time).

Walked to Thong Lo Skytrain station (similar to Singapore's SMRT, but like half cabins lesser).

It was an extremely lonnnnnnnnnngggggggggg walk.

It's like walking from Lakeside to Jurong East.

Despite the air-conditioner in the train, I was still perspiring.

We alighted at Siam station.

Yeah, shopping day.

Cut the story short, I bought 5 t-shirts (3 of those are tooooooo small for me), shades, sundress for the Pattaya trip & vest.

At night, tried out the shades & sundress at Carmen's room.

God, I look damn ugly.

But the rest of the girls assure me that nothing's wrong with being me.

It's just how I carry out the clothes that I wear.

Yeah right, I'm lacking of self-confidence, that's why.

Week 2 Day 1

We had leisure time the whole day.

Duh, it's a Sunday.

Me & Nat decided to stay in our room.

Woke up at around 2.30PM (Singapore's time).

Watched teevee.

& did our video-editing assignment.

Donna & Carmen joined us in the room as the rest of the girls went shopping.

At night, I went to David's room to break fast.

& Nat, Donna & Carmen joined later on.

David, Rashyd, Hakim, Jet & Nat played Call of Duty while me & Carmen cooked.

Yes, eat again.

Me, Carmen & Donna were at the kitchen.

I guess around 9 plus or so (Bangkok's time) the whole group of us went to Family Mart (similar as Singapore's 7-11).

Bought food, drinks & poker card.

Played Indian poker & Murderer.

Carmen left the room soon after.

The remaining of us decided to crash at David's room.

Switched off all the lights & we lied down in the living room.

All faced the ceiling in a circle.

Cool huh?

We shared our love life (sort of), first impressions of everyone, laughed, joked & told ghost stories.

Week 2 Day 2.

All of us woke up at 12.30PM (Bangkok's time).

Laughed, joked & continued sleeping for a while more.

Now, I'm in my room, Nat went to the saloon with Donna.

Need to edit my assignment.

Well, watching teevee too.

Maybe breaking fast at A&W laterrrrr.

Okay. bye bye.

Bangkok Part 5.

2009-08-28T22:55:00.000-07:00

Day 6.

Had class.

From 1 - 6PM.

Our IS module - New Product Development.

Our lecturer is Johan.

Charming.

Lol.

Thai - American.

Too bad he's attached.

& he's 35 years old.

Not say love, well, I do not know how to put it.

Okay okay, the module is highly engaging & interesting.

I prefer lessons that make students being involved with what are being taught.

Instead of boring lectures.

Had few activities.

Stuff about product design.

The last activity was extremely fun.

Anyway, overdue pictures -

Day 1 (Sunday 23/08/09)

See how candid we were. Near the departure point.

Me & Amanda. In the plane before departure.

Alicia, me, Natalie, Carmen & Beverley. At Bangkok Airport.
Took pic while waiting for Jet's luggage to be found.

Candid pic again.

Our hotel.

At the lobby waiting to check - in to our room.
Classic.
Me & my stoned face when everyone else were talking.

Day 3 (Tuesday 25/08/09)

After Post - Production.
The whole class posed under
DVFX Immersion Programme banner
@ Bangkok University International College (BUIC).

Informal pic below the banner.

Day 4 (Wednesday 26/08/09)

Class photo during the sight - seeing.

In the van.
On the way back to the hotel.
Yeah.
Sleeping as usual.
Sleep & eat are what the class is best at doing.

Day 5 (Thursday 27/08/09)

Lightning.
Taken from the hotel balcony.

Anyway, in the previous post, I mentioned that I'm feeling emo suddenly right?

Perhaps, it is just my nature to be this way.

Now way that I can change myself from being emo.

& another thing - I'm always looking down on myself.

Why?

Totally have no idea.

How am I supposed to feel good about myself when there is nothing to be proud about?

Okay whatever.

Anyway, time to do the video - editing assignment.

Bye bye.

Bangkok Part 4.

2009-08-28T12:05:00.000-07:00

Day 5.

We had post-production class.

& received our 1st assignment.

Apparently I guess most of the people had finish with their video-editing.

Well, except for me.

I was struggling to do the assignment.

& still stuck at the first few scenes.

Damn.

If it is not for re-starting my Mac twice, I would definitely not be left behind tremendously sooooo much.

Oh mannnnnnnn.

Had to submit the assignment on next Tuesday.

All the best to me.

Tedious work but really worth the trying.

After class, me, Rashyd & Hakim went to the night market & Carrefour.

The guys bought some clothes.

While I just looked around.

Saw some dresses & shirts that I'm interested to buy.

But not now.

Perhaps the third or fourth week then I'll buy.

Depends on my budget too though.

They bought sunglasses too.

& beachwear.

For Pattaya trip on 12 & 13 Sept.

I gonna buy shades too (the big round ones, if they are available) and sundress (if my size even ever exists).

It was around 6.30PM (Singapore time) plus when they were done if shopping.

Me & Hakim bought food from McDonalds.

Yes, fast food again.

Rashyd bought papaya salad from this foodcourt.

Anyway, I bought Double Big Mac meal & 6 piece mcnuggets.

& guess what?

$8.50, roughly, for the whole thing!

Totally worth it, isn't it?

Then, off to David's "place" again to break fast.

After that, the guys went gyming while I went back to my room.

& the rest of the girls were there.

Chit-chat a little bit.

At night, the whole class were at David's.

The girls tried playing Call of Duty 4 & yeah, they were screaming out loud.

Lee Ming & David got tau pok.

Only me watching teevee at the living room.

American Pie 2.

Lol.

& I watch & listen to Hakim & Alicia sing.

I sang too.

But oh my god.

Awful voice.

& totally high pitch.

Maybe I should just stop singing already.

& oh yeah, we ate alot.

AGAIN.

One class united together mannnnnnnn.

On a heavier note, I suddenly feel emo.

Will update tonight when I got the time.

BANGKOK PART 3.

2009-08-27T12:00:00.000-07:00

Day 3.

Okay. I do not know what we do after class on Tuesday.

Haiz.

See lah.

Never update consistently.

Tsk tsk.

But I know one thing.

We keep on eating at night.

Continuously.

Wahlao.

I feel like a pig already lor.

& my cheeks getting rounder like nobody business.

Day 4.

We had to wake damnnnnnnnn early for some touring in Bangkok.

Me & Nat woke up around 6 plus.

Early sia.

Feel like sleeping again after that (as usual lahhhhh..So common sia..).

Met the rest at the lobby.

& we are always the earliest ones (in Singapore totally different case..).

Took the van at 8am, with the accompaniment (do not know how to spell) of Nara & Ging.

All of us agreed on the same thing coz of the tour guide.

Should not mention the reason here though.

& we should not be going to one location but we did, coz of yeah, tour guide.

Damn exhausted sia.

The weather on Wednesday (ytd) was 39.5 degrees Celsius!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can you believe it?

But I manage to endure.

But cannot endure anymore when we were at Pinanmek Mansion.

I feel like fainting, seriously.

On the way back to Boss Tower, me, Carmen, Beverley, David, Hakim & Rashyd slept.

& back to our room, me & Nat continue sleeping.

I woke up at 5.30PM (6.30PM Singapore time) to bathe & prepare for break fast.

Went to David's "place" to eat.

I ate chilli padi.

Then got diarrheao ytd.

Dumbass sia.

Then, me, Rashyd, Hakim, David, Nat, Lee Ming, Jet, Belle & Donna went to Carrefour for some shopping.

Before that, me & Hakim bought chocolate sundae & at StarBucks, I bought Choclolate Chip Frappe (add worse to my diarrheao).

We then went Carrefour.

The last place was the street vendor.

The rest ate except for me.

Maybe I should try too.

Some other time.

MEEEEE. ( stupid face as usual..Still fail to take a proper picture..)

Me & my roomate Natalie
(during the orientation on Monday)

Me & Carmen (Jiao Mao = leg hair)
(during class on Tuesday..Camwhoring sia..)

BANGKOK PART 2.

2009-08-25T11:45:00.000-07:00

Day 2.

Made our way down to BUIC at around 12PM.

It was an extremely longggggggg walk from Boss Tower.

Was not really expecting it though, even when I knew that it took 15 mins or so to reach the university.

Most of the buildings here are somehow rundown.

But I find them to be cool.

I have no idea why but kinda weird isn't it?

Maybe perhaps those buildings are somehow what I define as art?

Great textures of buildings as they tell thousands of stories.

& some have grafitti all over them.

Cooooooooooooool.

@ BUIC it was eyecandy-ing moment for some of the girls.

Needless to say, I was one of them.

Eying on all the ang mohs!!!!!!!!!

Spotted some adorable ones.

Anyway, first, we were welcomed to the building by the staff there.

& had some background knowledge of the campus, Bangkok, the do's & dont's in the country as well as learning some basic Thai language.

Seriously, I still had not get the hang of the language.

Kinda mouthful.

But I find the Thai language cool.

Perhaps the pronounciation.

We then had a tour around the campus.

Led by the staff, we were shown the locations of our classrooms for the post-production & new product development modules.

Plus the different facilities in the campus e.g. library, computer labs, foodcourts & cafeterias.

Ended the campus tour roughlt around 3.30PM Bangkok time ( 4.30PM in Singapore).

Back to the campus & met the whole class again at 4.30PM for some shopping & other stuff.

One of the staff, Gift (her nickname as it is certainly impossible for all of us to call her by her real name) was kind enough to bring us to the places.

& also, the places are quite nearby Boss Tower.

But, me, Hakim, Rashyd & David stayed behind as we were somehow exhausted & just waiting for the break fast timing.

Four of us ate at KFC.

The prices are somehow like Singapore's KFC's student meal ($4.80 roughly).

& yes, my gastric attack kiked in everytime I stuff foodinto my body during the break fast.

But I won't stop fasting (OF COURSE WILL NOT EVER!!!!!).

Have to endure mannnnnnn.

After eating, four of us went to Lotus for some grocery shopping.

Well, mostly the guys did the shopping while I just tagged along.

Back to Boss Tower, Hakim & David decided to go for a swim, while me & Rashyd just chilled along the pool.

Had great fun there.

Haha.

David (as usual) was the center of our every prank.

Made 2 videos of him (plus ytd's video of the girls being pranked, except for me & Natalie).

Our class is damn awesome!!!!!!!!

Me & Rashyd can't stop laughing since then.

I bet we gonna laugh hard again today & for the other remaining days.

At night, all of us chilled at "Lee Ming's" place.

Ate pizza, smelled the absolutely smelly cocktail sauce (the dipping sauce for the breadsticks; YUCKSSSSS!!!!!!!!), watched teevee, joked, screamed & sang together.

Then back to our room, me & Natalie listened to songs.

Both of us have similar tastes in music - ballads, soulful, acoustic, slow & meaningful songs.

Cooooooooool.

Yeah, of course we slept, around 1AM Bangkok time? (2AM Singapore time).

Day 3.

Arghhhhhh. I still can't get the internet connection in the hotel room.

So frustrating.

Here using Nat's laptop, updating my blog (LIKE DUHHHH!!!!!!).

Had school later at 1PM.

Post-production.

Meeting the rest at the lobby at 12PM.

Update later.

Bye bye.

BANGKOK.

2009-08-23T22:25:00.000-07:00

Day 1 in Bangkok.

Initially afraid of heights.

Serve me right for getting the window seat anyway.

But ended up sleeping after the plane took off from the ground.

So, don't feel the phobia at all.

Anyway, the cloud formations are so damn nice.

& the buildings seen from above are so marvellous-looking.

On the way to Boss Tower upon reaching Bangkok airport (or whatever it is called).

The class was separated as there were two vans.

The girls except Amanda & Hakim were in one van & e rest in the other.

We sang together on the way to the Boss Tower.

Was damn cool.

Checked in into our respective rooms & off for a tour to the facilities in the building.

We then went for shopping as a class @ Carrefour.

Seriously, I think me & Natalie got cheated with our money.

The stuff we bought cost 2,067 baht.

Which is 'bout 200 Sing dollars.

& the stuff ain't alot anyway.

Damn.

Okay, now in the hotel room.

Leisure time.

Listening to music & just chilling.

Will update 'bout tmr, well tmr.

Bye.

BYE.

2009-08-23T06:15:00.000-07:00

Bye to all.

Don't miss me yeah.

Will update blog in Bangkok.

FINALLY.

2009-08-22T23:55:00.000-07:00

Resigned from SparksWinds.

Soon will be in Bangkok.

DVFX Bangkok 6 weeks Immersion Programme.

DVFX T1A1 '09 with Mr Marc.

Counting down to our depature: 11 hours or so.

Unfortunately, it is raining heavily right now.

At 11.50PM.

Predict that there'll be a delay to our flight.

Cross fingers nothing negative will happen.

From our departure till we'll get to Singapore on 3rd October.

MEMORIES OF A BAND MEMBER.

2009-08-22T15:45:00.000-07:00

Come to think of it, in all my 14 years of experience of being a band member, & joining plenty of bands, I totally still attached to one band.

Let me name all the bands I've committed in - Rulang Primary School Brass Band, Yuhua Concert Band, SparksWinds, Millennia Institute Symphonic Band, Ngee Ann Concert Band, MI-IJC Band, Moulmein Winds Symphony & Marsilling Winds(only for extremely short period of time).

& I have slowly learn to let go of my strong, passionate & committed self from being attached to all these bands anymore.

In other words, I have graduated, have not been attending or quitted from all these bands already.

& yes, I've quitted NPCB & going to resign from SparksWinds soon.

Okay, back to the topic.

I'm definitely still attached to MISB. I think I know why. I guess, despite the standard the band is at now & ever since it was formed, I miss the people most. The bond that I have forged with the usual people who knew I had the potential & ability to lead. Our bond is so strong that we really go through thick & thin together.

Another reason would be, perhaps, because I had put my heart & soul to lead the band till it strives for glory & achieve excellent results.

Yes, I was a leader back then in MISB.

Being the President was never an easy task, needless to say.

My potential was seen by the seniors ever since I was a year 1.

Totally surprising.

& yes, I was damn greedy & wanted to hold the highest post in the band at that point in time.

A year 1, totally irrational thinking that I have.

In year 1, wanting to hold the President post, I had to compete with 3 other individuals.

Soon after, I realised that I'm wanting something that is so impossible to get.

So, I just did the things that a normal band member ought to do.

Commitment, passion, taking initiative, voice out opinions & motivating others.

This is where my potential was seen by others, especially the teachers-in-charge, conductor & seniors.

When I was year 1, I was already the Section Leader.

Not surprising.

When I was in year 2, I began to see that the band needs more work in order to be the best.

I contributed more than ever.

& yes, I held more than 1 post in year 2.

Initially, I was just the SL & Secretary.

Things changed, & I was the SL, Secretary & Vice President.

It was definitely a tough position that I had to be at then.

The main reason - the President was not strong enough for people to gain his respect, & people prefer to listen to me more.

I thought the President all the leadership qualities that I think would help him to be a better leader.

I totally had no ulterior motive whatsoever.

By then, people had start to see me as the President rather than a VP.

& yes, the voting system starts & I was elected as the new President.

I was the P by the end of year 2 till the beginning of year 3.

I improved the band & set it at a higher standard at first.

Maybe perhaps 'cause I know how every committee worked.

Yes, seriously, I do.

Soon after, people starts to doubt my abilities & I start to see my own flaws.

That's when I began to doubt myself & decided to quit the band & leave the school.

Knowing that it was irresponsibility for my part, I never looked back at what I had done.

Recently going back to MI, I started to feel attached once again to band life.

If I ever had to go back to any of the bands, MISB is where I definitely want to belong.

DIARRHEOA.

2009-08-22T15:20:00.000-07:00

I totally have a weak stomach.

My big body size aside.

I totally have lost all my appetite to eat alot already.

As I got older that is.

Seriously, no kidding.

& my speed of finishing up a meal is totally cannot make it.

Need one hour or more for a meal.

& the portion of the meal can be terribly small.

I bet anyone will not believe me at all.

Given my big body size.

Being stubborn as always, tried stuffing all the food into my body yesterday.

Large portion, seriously.

The result - diarrheoa.

I totally deserve it.

RECORDING.

2009-08-20T16:20:00.000-07:00

Reached home at 6.30AM.

Was out recording for Abu's friend's music project or somewhere along that line.

The place was at Chameleon Recording studio @ Bussorah Street.

It was supposed to start at 10PM.

But met Abu at 10PM.

Took cab to the location.

Thanks ar kena label Ah Lian/fierce/Minah or something like that by Justin.

Was stoning so never really listen to what he said.

Okay lah. Whatever.

The studio damn cool.

Began the Euphonium recording at 11PM.

Very difficult for me to adjust to the whole environment at first. Had never done recordings this professional before. & worse. I had not been touching with music for quite a while. Yeah. Roughly practised @ MI around 3 plus. Seriously, my tone, notes & everything were damn horrible. So demoralising. Anyway, listened to the song from Abu's mp3 & tried to play the piece with it. Oh yeah. The piece titled Ghost Love Score by Nightwish.

1 hour or so, somehow I got the piece right. So, after that home.

Back to the recording studio, it takes me around 1 hour or so to get comfortable. The first few takes took ages to get perfect. Yeah lah. Who seh play the song. Initially discussed to reach home roughly around 1AM. Yeah but how to right when the first few bars totally cannot make it.

Thank god Justin was damn patient. I really like the way he directs me to do this & that. Very professionally done. & the way he editted the waves & sonds, needlessly to say, me & Abu agreed Justin's damn talented.

By 2AM plus I guess, I was getting tired but I did not say anything despite Justin asking me umpteen times. By then, me & Abu took turns for the recording. So jealous of Abu's tone & his consistency on the tempo & stuff. Yeah. I can't follow metronome timing. Gosh. I seriously need conductors lah. So yeah. Justin & Abu conducted me. Anyway, thanks to Abu & Justin for praising me on my techniques & intonation. But, personally, I know where's my standard at currently.

End the whole recording around 4 I think? The recording totally damn exhaustive but 3 of us managed to pull through. Listened to the choir part. Damn nice!!!!!!!! The best part of the piece. Lol.

We then chilled near 7-11. the whole place totally deserted. But cool. Except for the snorings form some homeless guy. Really looking forward to hang out like this in future. For friends' sake, I'm willing to help. But, depends on which kind of friends. But seriously, I'm puzzled why of all people, Abu asked for my help. I know his reasons, but, I do not think I've made the best job that I've could had done.

To Abu - I WANT THE SONG!!!!!!!!!!!!! Seriously, it's a heavy metal song. Have no idea why I liked it from the first time I listened to it. Damn cool song!!!!!!!! Perhaps, this is the limit of any heavy metal song that I could tolerate. & thanks for carrying the Eupho for me & for all the other troubles I had caused you. Especially since you still have school. Hope to hang out with you again & with the rest of our clique. Miss you guys alot siaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!

To Justin - Thanks for everything. All the best for your project. Credits to your patience, tolerance & sense of humour. Gosh. This guy is damn talented. Good luck to whatever you are pursuing at present & in the future.

Great experience. Quality time with best, close, good friend & new friend found :) Okay not exactly a new friend, but get to know him much better.

NOTE TO SELF - Do not let go of what interest you. 'Cause it is hard to gain back all that you've learnt over the years. Damn proven at yesterday's recording. Passion for music is still there, but to sacrifice all of it & forcing to let it go all at once, who are you to kid?

I'm still dead beat even until now. Oh mannnnnnnnn.

TRIP.

2009-08-18T16:35:00.000-07:00

Juz done with packing for the overseas trip.

Hmmmm..Let's just say half or 3/4 of my stuff had being put into the luggage.

The luggage must weigh below 25kg.

I'm so afraid that I'll go overboard with the weight restriction.

& damn..All my clothes are so..ugh..

The day's drawing nearer to my departure.

5 more days.

Yet, so not looking forward to the trip.

Why?

Dad just have to demoralise me from being excited with the financial & family problems.

Yeah, always the usual.

He thinks I'm not worry.

& it's like leaving Singapore..For my own education & not fun..Is something as if worse than being sinful.

What's up with all these rubbish?

Seriously, I know what's going on & what will happen when I'm away.

Seriously, I wish he stops bombarding me by bringing up the problems again.

& everytime he does that, I've to raise my voice & scold him.

Gosh, I feel bad 'bout it but what to do.

& the result?

He gets emotional & it's worse than me getting PMS.

I'm sooooooo hoping that everything will be alright till the day I depart.

On a lighter note, yesterday the class had the pre-departure meeting with Mr Marc.

Totally awesome.

We were listening to music, played games, watched youtube videos, facebooking, imitating american & british accents, joked & talked 'bout lotsa stuff.

How cool is that?

Did all these as a class.

In the evening, we had Thai buffet, a treat from our teacher before the day.

We ate, talked, joked, laughed, took pictures & had great fun with one another.

Great bunch of people.

My class is so bonded since the second day of school.

Looking forward to see how bonded we will be before, during & after the Bangkok trip.

DVFX T1A1 '09 rocks! :)

DRAFT.

2009-08-16T20:50:00.000-07:00

Here's my 1st draft for the UNIFEM Writing Contest.

Decided to do a poem.

Doesn't really look like a poem, isn't it?

But yeah, just read through & comments are welcomed :)

Another Land, Another Life

by Nor Suryati Bte Adnan

Ngee Ann Polytechnic

Singapore is my homeland.
A true Singaporean is who I am.
I could never ask for more,
As this country has open so many doors of opportunities
For me to strive for.

A wonderful city --
Full of life, vibrancy and colours.
But, things will never be the way they are at present,
Without the hard work, determination and perseverance
That our forefathers have put in for a brighter future for our generations.

Our forefathers set their foot in Singapore years ago,
Hoping for a better life for themselves as well as for their families.
Away from what they experienced in own homelands;
Wars, poverty and hardships --
What can they ever ask for more from this small island of hope?

Individuals from all works of life.
Malays, Chinese, Indians and Eurasians --
Different races, religions and languages spoken;
Problems soon arise,
In which hope for a better life seems too good to be true.

Adaptation to the new land was never easy for the newcomers.
Especially when one was only a stranger to the whole new surroundings.
Mutual understanding between local and our forefathers was hard to forge.
There were so many so many barriers for the newcomers to break,
Which was difficult to come by.

Communication is indeed a great struggle for everyone,
When language is concerned.
Segregation caused relationships with one another to be strained.
More problems soon arise,
Which seems to be a great deal for our forefathers to handle.

Life in Singapore was not easy,
Since the arrivals of immigrants and foreign expatriates.
Crimes become more rampant,
Living conditions worsened due to overcrowding
And continue poverty and illnesses too existed.

The wall of segregation soon broke down.
With Singapore undergoing changes, stability and modernisation,
Over the years, the outsiders were finally being accepted as our own people.
The contributions our forefathers had sacrificed too were acknowledged.
Singapore now stands tall with its nation merged as one.

With the contributions made by the immigrants, as well as locals,
In the forty-four years of Singapore’s independence,
This tiny dot has become competitive for other countries to be aware of.
With businesses flourished and prosperity in all of the various industries,
Singapore has indeed brings a better life to all.

The acceptance of foreigners and expatriates comes with a great price.
With much assurance and trust to be gained by the locals,
Both sides slowly learn the benefits of understanding and forging friendships.
The hard work of our forefathers finally paid off
As their contributions are highly appreciated by the current generation.

Language is never a problem now in Singapore
As English is the language understood by all.
Despite the differences in race, religion and cultural backgrounds,
United we stand, divided we fall;
Singaporeans come together as one nation under any circumstances --
Be it going through the good or the bad times,
It has never been an issue or burden for anyone to bear.

Singapore, my homeland, it seems, even to me,
Is still a choice that I have to face.
The contributions made by our ancestors inspire me in every way,
And the choice foreigners make to regard Singapore as their home is endless.
Yet --
To choose if home going to be
Another land or another life --
Is a whole different story for each of us to tell.

VOMIT.

2009-08-15T19:40:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I vomitted everything all out that I ate.

Great.

My body's getting wayyyyyyyy haywire day by day.

& I had headache too yesterday.

I think there's something's wrong with my head.

Migraine?

Tummour?

Go figures.

& I ate alot again today. Or did I really?

Two scoops of rice, vegetables, fish, sweet soy sauce, green tea drink, four pieces of bread & 3 pieces of cookies.

Gosh, I feel so fat already.

Yeah, undeniably, I'm already damn fat.

Done my research for the essay competition.

Decided to do a poem 'bout the topic.

But damn clueless if poems have to rhyme or there's no need to.

Oh boy.

Time to write the poem.

Good luck : )

UNIFEM WRITING CONTEST.

2009-08-14T12:20:00.000-07:00

I have the opportunity to do an overseas internship end of this year.

Well, provided that I win the UNIFEM Writing Contest.

Seriously, I'm totally not bragging 'bout being given this opportunity.

But am glad that I'm recognised in having good writing skills.

I must absolutely seize every good & golden opportunity that comes my way.

& yes, I'll definitely know my own capabilities & limits to such opportunities.

Anyway, the topic for this competition is Another Land, Another Life.

Bascially, it's writing 'bout the impact of migration on the lives of people with aspirations of achieveing a better life for themselves and for their families.

Not only that, the writing has to include how immigrant populations have built nations such as Singapore, Australia & USA.

Okay. I totally realised that it's totally z challenging topic.

I'm having a dilemma on choosing to write a poem or a story based on the topic.

Hmmmmmm.........

& yeah, my creative juices are so damn reluctant to flow out.

Anyone who is willing to assist me for this writing contest is highly & greatly appreciated.

Perhaps I need to chill.

Okay. Time to research to retrieve relevant info.

Hopefully, my creative juices will start to flow.

All the best to me : )

PPL I IDOLISE.

2009-08-13T22:25:00.000-07:00

The artists I idolise at the moment. In no particular liking order.

Jonathan Rhys Meyers. I absolutely totally definitely love his icy blue eyes. So hot, gorgeous & cute!!!!!!!!!!! Haha..Lol.. But I can't stop remembering the 'gay' scene from him. The part where he ran in Bend It Like Beckham. Oh my god. But hee.. I like!!!!!!

Oliver James. I love his accent!!!!!! & his voice. Oh my god. When he sings!!!!!!!

The Saturdays. I think Fall, Lies & Issues are the greatest songs apart from all their other songs.

Channing Tatum. Love his body. Watched Fighting. & he's pretty good in that movie. Though I think Never Back Down is wayyyyyyyyy better than the movie.

Chad Michael Murray. So charming. I like his acting in One Tree Hill as compared to Cinderella Story.

James Franco. Love his smile. Totally giving him credit for his role in the documentary in Milk. So talented.

James McAvoy. Actor in Penelope. I don't know how to describe him. But I think his eyes are gorgeous.

Jame Morrison. Great unique voice. Love You Give Me Something, Pieces Don't Fit Anymore & You Make It Real.

Jason Mraz. Great voice!!!!!! So soothing to the ears.

Teddy Geiger. Love his eyes!!!!!!!!!!!! Gorgeous too. Love his voice for certain songs. Not keen on some of his songs.

Hilary Duff. Love her fashion sense & complexion. Her acting are so perfect. Love her song Someone's Watching Over Me.

Amanda Bynes. So perky personality. So sweet. Like her attitude. She looks damn gorgeous.

Anne Hathaway. Love her complexion!!!!!!! Her acting skills are marvellous!!!! I want to be as skinny as her. But only in my dreams that is.

Woooooooooottttttttt!!!!!!!! Kris Allen. Honestly, he's not my favourite in American Idol. I prefer Adam Lambert. But, as usual. The hot favourites for any other singing competitions, did horrible in the finals. I don't know what's up with that seriously. I guess over confidence makes them like that. No offence. Okay. Anyway, I love Kris's voice. Especially No Boundaries!!!!!!! Well, his voice is practically nice for all the songs he sings.

Tom Welling. Love his body & eyes!!!!!!!! Love the way he talks too.

Didicazli. His voice is damn unique. He's gorgeous too. Seriously, I do not listen to malay songs at all. But his songs are pretty okay for me to listen.

Hady Mirza. No offence. But I think he's a better singer than Taufik. I prefer his soulful voice. But seriously, he's like totally gone from the music industry.

OMG.

2009-08-11T21:25:00.000-07:00

Okay. I think sooner or later I'm gonna start my vulgarities over here.

Gosh. My dad should stop making me feeling guilty for deciding to go for the Bangkok trip. Like seriously.

Have no idea what else I can say to assure him that I'm going there for study purposes.

He always almost cry when everytime he talking 'bout me flying off pretty soon. What the hell is that?!

He always making feel like shit. Why can't I be away from the family for once? Make me feel like a maid all the time. FML.

CRY.

2009-08-10T23:20:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I cried to sleep. I totally have no idea what's the reason behind all the tears.

One thing that I truly hate about myself - bottling up all the problems & just break down at any given point of time.

Been breaking down alot lately. I am too stubborn. Just can't bring myself to share everything with others.

I'm totally back to square one. Feeling hopeless again.

One more deadline to go. After tomorrow, end of first sem. Luckily, I never procrastinate and do the assignment at the last minute. Spent the whole day doing the updated outline & final essay. Whatever. Looks like a crappy piece of work. Fingers cross that I'll pass.

Everyone's rushing for tomorrow's deadline. No fear guys. Chill pill. Going school tomorrow in the morning. For the screening (forgotten for what module). Then printing out of all the essays and photocopying of sources (hope the machines don't break down tomorrow 'cause I know everyone will do the same thing as I am). Then I think is the photography project review (or whatever it is called). & then submittion of the assignment. All the best tomorrow!

Two things that are holding me back from going the Bangkok trip - money & family problems. I do not care 'bout the shopping and buying of souvenirs part. All that I care 'bout is enough money for my expenses when in Bangkok. Gosh. Till now no money at all for the trip. I'm hoping for the best though. Can't back out now.

I absolutely feel that I'm growing up sooooooooo fast. I feel like a tremendously old person now. Dad keeps saying 'bout what will happen to the family when I'm away, blahblahblah. Argh. I'm totally gonna leave Singapore with a heavy heart.

If Dad thinks I'm gonna enjoy myself & be oblivious 'bout what's happening to the family right now, he better thinks hard. I surely know what gonna happen. Dad will just suffer when I'm away. 'Cause I'm his pillar of support in looking after Mum & Grandma.

Needless to say 'bout the person. I'm so speechless that I lazy to comment 'bout the person.

Dad, pleaseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I beg you. Don't make me feel like I'm regretting for agreeing to go for the Bangkok trip in the first place. I'm going there for study purposes. Please assure me that you gonna be okay while I'm away. Though I know that's not gonna be the outcome.

quiz 3.

2009-08-07T19:43:00.000-07:00

You Would Win Best Costume Design

You are imaginative, artistic, and very unique. You are a natural designer.

You can picture entire movies in your head. You are incredibly visual.

As long as you can remember, you've always had a flare for fashion. You like to experiment with looks.

You like dressing up in costumes and outfits. And not just for Halloween!

What Would You Win an Oscar For?

quiz 2.

2009-08-07T19:39:00.000-07:00

You Want to Impress People You Know

You want friends and family to think you're beautiful. You mostly focus on inner beauty and being a good person.

You want everyone you meet to think you're brilliant. Being seen as intelligent is important for your self esteem.

You are at your most playful when you are around family and friends. You are more serious around people you don't know well.

You let strangers see parts of you right away, but you believe in keeping some things private.

You don't become close to many people. You only let people you've gotten to know very well in.

Who Do You Want to Impress?

quiz 1.

2009-08-07T19:31:00.000-07:00

Your Gift is Imagination

You are constantly dreaming. You are always thinking about what could be.
You love to express yourself in many ways. You have a way with words and tell vivid stories.

You love to be amused. You are good entertaining yourself, and other people find you hilarious.
You're the type of person who finds staying happy easy. There's always fun to be had!

What's" Your Gift?

SICK.

2009-08-04T14:00:00.000-07:00

The last four days were really a horrible experience for me. I was really really really sick. Had high fever last Friday.

Went to the doc & was suspected to have H1N1 'cause of the symptoms I had.

Diarrhoea.

Cough & throat infection.

Flu.

Headache.

Fluctuating body temperatures.

Advised by the doc to be quarantined for a week.

Till this coming Thursday.

Great, missing 2 project deadlines.

But had asked for a deadline extension for photography.

But I had to trouble my classmates for the printing & submission of the poster design.

Thanks gals! Appreciate all your help!

Medicine was killing my body.

The antibiotics made my fever worse not better.

I was shivering n stuff each time I consumed the pills.

& my lips turned blue & I was pale on Saturday night.

Luckily nothing bad happened.

Now, I'm okay I guess. No fever. But still having flu, cough & diarrhoea. & my appetite is still bad. Can't seem to eat practically anything 'cept drink lots of water. I still feel weak too though. & drowsy. But I've managed to start on Writ Comm & Storyboard.

Yeah. Final 2 project deadlines. After that, Bangkok trip. Provided that I've recover fully for the trip. Upcoming event, 8th Aug. Hanging out with NP bandmates. Hope I can go, if I'm feeling wayyyyyy better than what I'm feeling right now. Miss them lots. & the biggest group outing yet. So looking forward for this.

I still have to watch what I eat though. No fastfood, junk food or fried food for me yet.

Hope nothing screws up for my photography final project. Thanks Ansar for developing the photos. Sorry for all the trouble I've caused.

MY DESIGN.

2009-07-17T10:15:00.000-07:00

I design this at 3AM.

ME.

2009-07-17T10:00:00.000-07:00

These are my grades for Storytelling.

Apr 2009 1
ACADEMIC YEAR / SEMESTER: __2009 / April ___________
COURSE: __Storytelling Techniques __
GROUP: __T1DA _____ _______
NAME: Nor Suryati Bte Adnan_____
STUDENT NO.: _ 10075929H______________

JOURNAL ASSESSMENT (25%)

***10 marks Presentation + 30 marks Notes + 60 marks Exercises
= 100 marks

A. Presentation
1. Contents
- All content is available and accessible from the title page.
2. Organization
- Both tutorial notes and exercises should be arranged through use of posts
and pages
3. Name, Student Number and Tutorial Group
-The blog should have an “About” page with the student’s name, number
and tutorial. group.
***TOTAL A+

B. Notes
1. Content
-All content delivered at tutorials 1 through 6
2. Key Points, Questions & Answers Raised
-any additional information raised through discourse during tutorials;
criticism/suggestions/opinions of other students’ work from tutorials etc.
3. Reflections
-your thoughts, comments and reflections
***TOTAL A+

C. Exercises

1. Openers
-fulfillment of numerical requirement (12 openers)
-variety and thought (avoiding cliché or repetition)
-possibilities for stories
SUB-TOTAL D+

Apr 2009 2

2. People-Watch
-fulfillment of numerical requirement (2 characters)
-names and addresses for the characters (phone book exercise)
-physicality, mannerisms/behaviours and actions/reactions
-variety and thought
SUB-TOTAL A+

3. 50 Word Stories
-fulfillment of numerical requirement (5 stories of exactly 50 words)
-holds readers’ attentions
-variety and thought
SUB-TOTAL A

4. Letter from the Past
-holds readers’ attentions
-particularity of incidents (highly detailed and specific)
-quality of writing / evidence of revision
SUB-TOTAL A+

5. True/False Stories
-fulfillment of numerical requirement (2 stories: 1 true, 1 false)
-holds readers’ attentions
-particularity of incidents (highly detailed and specific)
-language/grammar
SUB-TOTAL A+

***OVERALL GRADE
A+

ACADEMIC YEAR / SEMESTER: _2009 / April ____________
COURSE: _STORYTELLING TECHNIQUES ___
GROUP: _T1A1___________________________
NAME: _Nor Suryati Bte Adnan ___
STUDENT NO.: _S10075929H _____________

FINAL DRAFT STORY ASSESSMENT (15%)

SCALE:
COMPONENTS (POOR, AVERAGE, EXCELLENT)

1. Whose story is it?

EXCELLENT

2. Is the story absorbingly &
convincingly told ?

AVERAGE

3. Is there change /
conflict ?

MIDDLE OF AVERAGE & EXCELLENT

4. Is there effective use of
visuals & sound ?
(i.e. Showing Vs. Telling)

AVERAGE

5. 3rd Person Narrative /
Present Tense

EXCELLENT

6. Language / Grammar

EXCELLENT

TOTAL A+

COMMENTS

Suryati,

This story is not as convincing as it could be, possibly because you’re trying to deal
with very heavy subject matter in such a short span of time, leading to an inability to
develop the characters fully.

Also, I still don’t see the connection between the first paragraph and the last one –
he jumps and then he jumps again?

Having said that, your tenses and grammar are very good and the standard of
writing is pretty good as well – good job on that. The idea of the story is also good –
just that it needs some polishing and perhaps will take more shape in a longer
format.

Cheers,
Leslie

Basically, I think I got A+ for Storytelling.

Fyi, this is only half the module (Storyboard & Storytelling).

Will publish the story here once I got it back.

Link to my journal assignment: http://www.monologuesessions.wordpress.com

SCHOOL.

2009-07-16T20:30:00.000-07:00

Believe it anot.

I got a B for this photograph.

Okay. I should be happy.

To KAI & ANSARRRR - thanks for being my models for the 2nd photography assignment.

Now my teacher and classmates had interpreted unanimously the same thing 'bout this photograph.

That you guys are gays, lovers & falling out of love.

Yeah all that crap.

But whatever, it's people's opinions anyway.

Here's my artist statement for the photography portfolio.

" My photography portfolio will be based on people photography.

The sub genres will comprise of fashion and product/advertising photography. Furthermore, the photographs will be in colour as well as black and white.

Fashion is a form of non-verbal communication to signify an individual or a certain group in a society. What, how and when an individual wears will certainly enable the onlooker to identify with the individual with rapid comprehension.

The importance of this portfolio is the facial expressions that my models will portray through what they wear. How they feel from the things they put on will indicate their sexual availabilities and social standings in the society. Not only that, their surroundings too play a part in their displays of emotions when making various fashion statements.

Final say, in this current era, how we perceive our persona and what we want to say to society in a very visual camera obsessed culture, is still expressed through our bodies, the way we wear clothes, jewellery and body art. "

Now I realised that I definitely sound dumb 'cause of the artist statement.

I don't know but it sounds kinda stupid.

On a lighter note, below are the photographs in which I will imitate the concepts & techniques from for my portfolio.

P.S. I can have countless models for this portfolio.

A huge thank you to cuzzie Samiyah & her friends to help me in this portfolio.

But to the rest of you guys, if you're willing to contribute too, why not.

Bye.

FREED.

2009-07-14T16:00:00.000-07:00

At last. I have like finally quitted band. Have no idea why I took so long to get rid of this interest.

'Cause of friends? 'Cause of my passion? Or simply 'cause I am just dumb ttm & ttc.

I feel extremely free now 'cause I had let go so much burden thanks to the amount of commitment. 14 years of experience in the band. 'Cause of my passion for music. Definitely dumb of me to have minimal concentration on my studies. Yes. Band was my life and everything. Well, that's was then. Now is now.

I am glad that I made the right decision to leave. No regrets and turning back on my decision now. I am totally moving on. Thank you so much to those who respect my decision. & to those whom I have let down, I greatly apologise. This is my life & I should be wise enough to decide what's right & what's not for my own good.

The only thing that I will miss most is the people I mix with all the time. Bandmates. My clique. Friends for a lifetime forever & ever. I realise that I won't be able to hang out with them as much as I did before. 'Cause of my school workload.

Okay. Not to say that I am being selfish here. But yeah, my workload is definitely worse than anyone else. Daily-based kinda thing. That's the reason why I made this decision. Need to really focus in order to achieve the results that I have set for myself. Sorry guys.

Anyway, I absolutely cancelling outings with my clique in the future, even this Saturday. 'Cause I can't ignore my assignments any longer. Datelines coming up pretty soon & yes, I had been procrastinating.

& if any one of you thinks that I am quitting 'cause of that group, think again.

ASSIGNMENTS.

2009-07-11T16:10:00.000-07:00

Assignment still pending:

CATS research

Written Communication

- draft due on the 14th week

- decide on a topic for a persuasive essay (guidelines refer to notes)

- the actual essay due on 11th August '09, 6pm

2D Art

- buy A2 paper & draw my room

- due on 21st July '09

Photography

- portfolio due on 4th August '09

PORTFOLIO.

2009-07-11T16:05:00.000-07:00

Due next is my 3rd & final Photography assignment. Seriously, gonna miss this module. This is definitely one of the platforms that enable me to express myself. However, I am still learning & certainly my skills are barely up to standard still. Kinda demoralising.

Anyway, for this 3rd assignment, I have to come up with a photography portfolio. Below is the design I've come up for the portfolio cover page. Did it in photoshop & pasted on powerpoint slide.

Each of us (my class of course) has to think of a theme for our individual portfolio. It can consists of one theme or at most, two. I have decided to focus on one theme. That is, fashion.

The sub-themes for my portfolio will be portraits (head & shoulder, half body & full body shots, make-up & with masks) , accesories (hats, bags, belts, watches, bangles), footwear, jackets, tops & bottoms. The photographs will be in colour (bright colours prferable) & in black & white.

Pretty ambitious, ain't I? Anyway, there are certainly problems that have succumb to make my portfolio possible. Now, I have to decide the number of models I need, the suitable places for the photoshoots, to tally my & the model(s) schedules & plan out every photoshoot properly.

Dateline is 4th August. Please tag if any of you find it possible to be my model. If time permits, I will want to start the photoshoots on next Saturday & Sunday. Photoshoots will certainly be carried out on weekends.

Another thing, please tell me your schedule. So that the photoshoots won't clash with your personal activities. Your help is much appreciated.

Now, I have to think of an ARTIST'S STATEMENT for my photography portfolio.

Bye.

THANKS.

2009-07-11T15:40:00.000-07:00

First of all, I wanna say a very huge THANK YOU to those who have made my second photography assignment a success.

Thank you soooooooooo much ANSARRRRR, KAI, FIAN, ELISSE, TONY & FAIEZAH for your help.

I owe you guys a treat. But I have to save up my money first. Probably before my Bangkok trip I would have enough cash. So that we can enjoy a great dinner together : )

Seriously, my second assignment is wayyyyyyyyy better than the first. In terms of techniques and the different angles I explored to snap the photos. However, I am afraid that I will do badly for this assignment. It is due to my own mistakes & does not involve anyone. But, I always hope for the better.

Not forgetting a huge THANK YOU too to my cuzzie Samiyah for your help on my first photography assignment. Hope to hang out with you soon. How about a movie perhaps? Or a K-Box session? : )

I may not be a good one. But, I am willing to learn. However, without any of your guidance, how am I gonna improve? Criticisms and frustrations are all that I received. Spare a thought for my feelings. I may be a noob, but I am not that stupid not to realise each of your reactions. Tell me straight to my face if you are not happy about anything that I am doing. Don't make me notice what you bitching about me.

2nd Photography Assignment.

2009-07-11T15:30:00.000-07:00

2nd Photography Assignment

Theme: People Photography

Business Theme

Portraits Theme

Emo Theme

MY WORKS.

2009-07-11T13:45:00.000-07:00

Title: Designs on the face
Medium used: 0.3 & 0.5 felt - tip black pens
Grade: A -

Title: Transformation
Medium used: 0.3 & 0.5 felt - tip black pens, 2B pencil
Grade: B

Title: Design Test #1
Medium used: Pencil
Grade: B +

Title: Playing with shapes
Medium used: 4 black boxes for each category (from top left in clockwise direction: order, increase, hold, playful, tension & congested)
Grade: B -

Title: Colour wheel & Tone variations
Medium used: Poster colour
Grade: B -

ME.

2009-07-09T02:05:00.000-07:00

Hey guys.

Upload of pics soon.

No worries, aight?

Alot of things going through my mind right now.

Especially ASSIGNMENTS!!!!!!! (photography portfolio, writ comm, CATS, 2D Art)

Should go sleep now..Bye bye!!!!!!..

The letter 'S' being rotated endless times till messy is my name middle name (thanks ANSARRRR for your help!!!!!.)

& yes..I should continue designing..
DESIGN is my passion.

HI.

2009-07-07T23:30:00.000-07:00

I promise I'll update my blog soon.

So much procrastinations.

Tons of assignments.

So little time.

But I have my group of friends as stress relievers.

Next update: pictures of my 2nd photographhy assignment.

In my mind right now: How the hell I'm gonna finish up all assignments & planning for PHOTOGRAPHY PORTFOLIO.

Wootttttttt!!!!!!!!

Bye.

Friends for a lifetime : )

2009-06-28T16:35:00.000-07:00

I think I should stop predicting what would happen to the band, my friends and to me in years to come. 'Cause what I've have been predicting come true. All of them. & this is certainly not a lie.

I have been hoping all my life that I won't have to go through fighting & settling things with them. Once is definitely fine with me. But going through it over & over again, they can absolutely fuck their own dumbshit mouths.

I apologise for the tons of vulgarities that I will use for this blog entry.

Firstly, I totally know that the confrontations or rather, meeting.....Okay, whatever we wanna call it. It was redundant TO THE MAX. 'Cause I am sure that the people present there knew "WHERE THE PROBLEM LIES" actually. So, why must they talked 'bout other rubbish stuff. In case you all not know, "they" refer to this 'superior' group in the band a.k.a the ELITES. Oh so they had label themselves.

Okay, I gonna be damn bitchy here. I am so straightforward that I can hurt others as well. Sorry. Anyway, so much for calling themselves that. Especially when every single one of them have no conscience, awareness & LOTSA self-reflections before they open their dumbshit mouths to comment 'bout anything & everything under the sun.

To think that we are afraid of them & so there's plenty of "SEGREGATION OF FATS" btn the "COMMITTE & MEMBERS"? Omg. Can't they just say straight to the point & not gay around the bush & fuck others with all what they had caused in the band.

The rest of us are so much happier 'cause we mix around with each other, bond so well with one another. & don't they realise that they are the ones "SEGREGATING" away from the rest of the band members? Where have all their brains gone to? Now, "THERE'S WHERE THE PROBLEM LIES."

All the bullshit all of them had done during announcements & speaking up are totally redundant & amusingly, funnily crappy. They love twisting their words around their gay & ugly mouths, & made others the guitly ones. What's up with that? Seriously, they can do whatever they want in the band, & the rest of us can't? & for them to hate whoever whom mixing with me is totally damn childish.

The members I mix with are absolutely innocent & sure, their brain cells are extremely working 24/7. Unlike theirs. So, no point cursing them, putting them down & making fun of them all the time. The one who should be pushed around is ME. 'Cause I caused all this to happen. If it isn't for me, the situation of the band will be totally different.

Ignorance & avoidance from them are what I've done all this while. I am happy & satisfied with my decision of leaving that group. I am glad that I open my eyes & observe both sides of everything happening in the band. If I had not, I would havce suffered.

Yesterday what L had said 'bout me is totally redundant. Redundant like how he thinks 'bout every single thing. Uncovering tha past of "ALL THE HAPPY WE HAD SHARED" is like whattttttttt?????????? & the main problem lies is actually the conflict btn both of us. Not btn me & some other random ppl. That's my own problem for me to deall with all the random individuals. Who's he to question me all that? Off - focus!!!!!!!! No wonder he failed English.

I am glad that I am wise enough not to be trapped with all his "sweet words." I have been hurt ever since I forged friendship with L. It's not gonna happen again now. I'm moving on.

"Now I can see what kind of person you are now." Hah. Glad for L to know that. Wow. I've never realise that he totally observe me. It's just an honour. Seriously, I deserve more from that clique. Keep up the good job, but there's still LOTSA improvements.

Everyone, by now, should know what kind of person I am. If you give me that goddamn heck care attitude, you get bullshit from me. Eye for an eye. People don't deserve my respect if they don't watch what they say. & the way they stand in front of others to advise etc.

I really appreciate what the rest had done for me after that redundant, dumbshit meeting. Thanks. You guys made my day. I totally need the comforts ytd. "You deserve no friends at all." Well, I have good & the the bestest friends ever. They know that I won't open up & tell others my side of the story 'bout everything sensitive. It's my life & I'll deal with them on my own. I don't influence others to hate the people I'm having conflict with. All my friends have the freedom to decide & think. & L has no right to say that to me. Seriously, I'm wayyyyyyyyyyy better than every single one of them.

In fact, the majority is wayyyyyyyy better than the minority. It's not that all of us are against them. It's just that we are disgusted with their behaviours, the way they talk & their mannerisms towards others.

Apart from all these, I'm gonna selfish now. I totally made the right decision of quitting right after this concert. & I won't step into the band room ever again. Never. So now, I'm gonna try my best to help my section members. I have a nice caring section & I'm sure they will do perfectly fine without me. & if anyone thinks I'm qutting 'cause the ELITES, I'm certainly not. I'm quitting simply 'cause of my studies. That's my sole purpose of changing my course of study from MI to Poly. To excel academically. Not to be so caught up with band politics or whatsoever. I'm neglecting my musical talent but I won't regret my decision.

ME.

2009-06-21T21:00:00.000-07:00

Limits.

Endurance.

Fake.

ENDURE.

2009-06-19T20:00:00.000-07:00

I don't mind what you say. But please, don't go overboard. I try so hard to hide my emotions. I am glad that I am able to control whatever I am feeling all at the moment. How long can I endure? I never know.

You think I don't know what you're thinking, assuming and talking about? I can see the situation & I observe everything. Luckily, I have others to assure that it's alright and know how it feels like to be in my shoes.

I am a completely different person. I've changed for the better. I'm able to look at things from a different angle. I am proud of myself. I have people who care n trust me so much. I really appreciate all their company. We will stay strong together no matter what happens.

What are you trying to do seriously? Go away. Don't come crawling back to me. Please understand the way I'm treating you right now. My body language, the way I speak to you & my facial expressions. Don't you get it? You're somebody whom I've never thought you would be. One thing that I hope you would do immediately is to stay away from me. Permanently. And never look back even once.

I'm giving you another chance. I know I deserve that chance too. I want us to start all over again. But why does it seems so difficult when you throw me those questions? Once again. I really hope that you will give me time. Why is it so hard for me to answer exactly what I'm feeling right now? Why must I keep holding everything back? How much longer must it takes?

Hey.

2009-06-06T21:00:00.000-07:00

Update today like finally = D

Absolutely hectic wif loads of assignments, projects & presentations.

Really enjoy what I'm doing now.

Totally focus & give more than 100% to every task given.

The mindset of always doing my best & to achieve good results has deemed me as an extreme egoist & perfectionist.

Well, at least this is what I see myself at the moment.

The problem is that I look down on all my works.

It is better for others to judge my works actually.

& I am always re-doing each of them till I get the results that I expect.

I also work better under pressure, which I am experinecing now.

Next up, cannot wait to see the outcome of my second photography project.

Been planning everything thoroughly & it is going to be rather exciting.

Watch out for this space...uhmm..next month?..

I'll upload some pics taken for this second assignment.

I'll end my post with my design assignment.

Have not been graded yet though.

I find it ugly anyway.

Go on. Be your own judge & critique my work.